Discipling Marriages to Christ

Ephesians 5:15-21

 1. Wives are to reveal the church submitted to Christ 5:22-24

  1. Submit in a similar way you submit to the Lord 5:22
  2. Submit for one reason – God gave the role of leadership to the man 5:23
  3. Thus, like the church is submitted to Christ 5:24
  4. Application

  2. Husbands are to die for their wives to reveal Christ dying for the church 5:25-29

  1. Love – die for – your wife  how? 5:25
  2. Christ is working to sanctify and to cleanse with the washing of the Word 5:26
  3. Christ is preparing the church for himself – a glorious church 5:27
  4. Love your wife, like you already love yourself.5:28-29

3. Marriage reveals Christ’s relationship with the Church 5:30-33

  1. Members of the Body look out for each other and take care of each other 5:30
  2. As “one flesh” in picture, marriage is one flesh in all aspects 5:31
  3. Marriage is to reveal Christ and the church 5:32
  4. Admonition of love and respect 5:33


  • The purpose of marriage is to reveal the relationship between Christ at the church. The Lord Jesus has and does reveal His love, provision and protection for the church. The picture is how the church is to respond to Him.
  • The priority is not getting wives to submit to their husbands, but for husbands to love their wives, SO THAT wives will have a reason to submit to their husbands. But, as husbands are learning to do the command to love their wife, wives are commanded by God to submit to their own husband. The key is that they are one flesh, so when one misses the mark, the other is graciously believing the best and humbling self to Christ’s command.
  • Both parties must continue to learn their role throughout life, because as we change, we are tempted to become independent from each other and violate the “one flesh” picture. Better to honor God and fulfill your role, than throw off that role because of your partner’s failure. That doesn’t mean you become a rug, but you consider your spouse as a brother or sister in Christ and get church leadership involved to pray, counsel and nurture back to oneness.


  • Teach your daughters to marry a noble man, who is going to be able to lead them spiritually, in grace, tenderness and with servant leadership. Marriage is not about me (self), but about Christ Jesus, the Lord.
  • Teach your sons self-control and godliness, so that they will be able to model Christ’s work of sanctifying the marriage in holiness to God’s picture of Christ and the church.
  • Teach both the principles of humility, orientation to authority and obedience to God’s will, walking in love, light and wisdom.

Five Cycles of Divine Discipline

Ephesians 4/Leviticus 26

  1. The cycles of discipline are based on the principle that Jesus Christ controls history directly, indirectly, and permissively. 

    a. He controls history directly through the function of His own divine essence. He created, He caused plagues, He moved a star into position, etc.
    b. He controls history indirectly through the function of the laws of divine establishment. Beginning in Gen. 9:6, man was responsible for laws of divine establishment
    c. He controls history permissively through permitting nations to use their own volition to destroy themselves. He permissively allows us to make decisions, some empowered by the Holy Spirit and some done in the flesh based on our own wants and desires.

  2. History Administered by God – Dispensations
    a. Israel was an agricultural economy – long before industrialization
    b. This applies directly to Israel – not to other nations. Trends should be warnings.
  3. The Five Cycles of Discipline for Israel Lev 26
    a. The first cycle of discipline, Lev 26:14-17
    i. The Law is composed of three parts
    ii. Description of the first cycleb. The second cycle of discipline, Lev 26:18-20

    c. Third cycle of discipline Lev 26:21-22

    d. Fourth cycle of discipline Lev 26:23-26

    e. Fifth cycle of discipline Lev 26:27-39 amplified in Deut 28:49-67

  4. God warned a specific generation? Hebrews: 5 warning judgments

Hebrews 2:1-4
Hebrews 3:7-4:13
Hebrews 5:11-6:12
Hebrews 10:19-39
Hebrews 12:14-29

5. God declares to us what the end times will be like in our dispensation 2 Tim. 3:1-5


  • God was clear, because He wanted Israel to understand there were consequences to choices. God would bless their socks off or provide divine discipline to restore them to His love.
  • God loved Israel because of His choice, but the experience of that love was dependent on their response to Him.
  • God will re-gather Israel to wait for the coming triumphant Messiah – the Lord Jesus Christ.


  • What has God made clear to you? Are you responding well to Him? How are/is your devotions, prayer, fellowship, raising godly children, helping to raise godly grandchildren?
  • Leave the world behind you. There is NOTHING in the world that even remotely compares to what you will see or experience in heaven. All that matters now is reaching people for Christ and multiplying disciple-makers to the Lord Jesus Christ.
  • God is giving you options of choosing to bond to this world or helping people look forward potentially to their home in heaven.

Putting Off

Ephesians 4:17-19

The Downward Spiral – NEBISCOS – Living in Impurity

  • Negative Volition Rom. 1:18-19 – The Gentile Walk
  • Emptiness of soul Rom. 1:20-21a – The Futile Mind
  • Blackout of soul Rom. 1:21b –         The Darkened Understanding
  • Induced Ignorance Rom. 1:22 – The Ignorance of God
  • Separation from God Rom. 1:23 – The Alienation from God
  • Calloused soul Rom. 1:24-27 – The Numb life
  • Occupied with evil Rom. 1:28-31 – The Unclean Licentious life
  • Sin Unto Death Rom. 1:32 – The Death March


  • God will permit people to go their own way. He is still sovereign, in control of history and life and the Holder of all good things, waiting to pour our blessings and rewards.
  • The unbeliever can be sovereign over his life now, but the ultimate destiny is still in God’s hands. The unbeliever can defy God now, but not eternity.
  • God wants you and me to understand that the way of man is the downward spiral.


  • If you trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior, your destiny is heaven!!!
  • Be ready to give an account of the abundant blessings Jesus is and does in your life. You can be down in the mouth, down in the heart, down in actions, but why pull others down, when you have victory positionally in Christ and experientially can experience that victory. You are royalty.
  • Build a bridge to unbelievers, because their destiny is horrible. Be God’s instrument of blessing, because you will be blessed beyond what you can imagine.


Matt 5:13; Matt 26:69-74; Mar 9:50; John 6:66; Act 15:1-41; 2 Pet 2:20-21; Heb 10:26-29; Luke 9:62; 1 Cor. 5:1-8; 1 Cor 10:1-3; 1 Cor. 14:1-40; 2 Cor. 12:20-21; Gal 1:6; Gal. 3:1-3; Gal 4:9-11; Gal 5:7; Gal 6:1; Mal 3:7; 1 Tim. 1:19; 1 Tim 4:1; 1 Tim. 5:15; 2 Tim. 4:10; Heb 5:11; Heb 6:4-8; Jam 4:8, 17; Rev 2:4-5; Rev 3:2-3

Grow to Oneness

Grow to Oneness – Part 2

Ephesians 4:7-16

  1. Jesus has the right to establish growth in the church 4:7-10
    • Jesus gave us grace – according to His measure 4:7
    • He ascended on high with the spoils of victory 4:8
    • He first descended to Tartarus 4:9
    • He ascended above the heavens 4:10

2. Jesus sovereignly gives communication gifts to equip His church for ministry 4:11-13

 Those gifts are for teaching and for equipping saints for ministry 11-12

  • Some received communication gifts 4:11
  • Those gifts are for equipping and for edifying the body of Christ 4:12
  • Those gifts function until we come to the unity of faith 4:13
  • Unity of faith and knowledge of God
  • To a perfect man – 2 Tim. 3:17
  • To the measure of stature of the fullness of Christ Col. 2:9-10

    3. Jesus wants His church to grow up for the growth of the church 4:14-16

 Ephesians were spiritual children Eph. 4:14a  Four stages of spiritual growth

    • Spiritual infant – 1 Thes 2:6-8
    • Spiritual child – 1 Thes 2:9-12
    • Spiritual Youth -1 Jn 2:13-14
    • Spiritual Parent – 1 Jn 2:12-14
  • They were acting like children 4:14b
  • They were speaking like children 415-16
  • Speaking 1) the truth 2) in love 4:15; 4:29; 1 Cor. 13:4-7
  • They needed to be concerned about the body.
  • Each part does it share to causes growth 1 Pet 2:1-2; 2 Pet 3:18


  • Jesus wants us to grow up to His fullness for unity of faith and unity of service
  • Jesus wants us to grow up in His giving love Jn 13:34-35; 15:10; 1 Jn 2:6; 1 Jn 4:19


  • Examine every room of your soul – the kitchen – where you eat manna; living room – where you fellowship with believers and reach out in discipleship to others; bedroom – as you rest in the Lord; bathroom – where you confess your sins and cleanse your life.
  • Learn what to tolerate and not to tolerate in holiness and truth for unity of faith and work of ministry.
  • Become a “joint” (discipler) that encourages, inspires and holds together the body of Christ.

Jesus is Our Peace

Ephesians 2:14-16

  1. Jesus is our peace – keeps on being
    1. He made two into one
    2. He broke down the middle wall of separation
    3. He abolished the enmity
    4. He reconciled the two groups to one
  2. Jesus preached peace to Gentiles and Jews 2:17-18

    1. What is peace?
    2. We want peace – God wants you to have peace!
    a. Phil 4:6-7
    b. Num 6:26
    c. Job 22:2
    d. Ps 29:11
    e. Is 26:3
    f. John 14:27
    g.Job 34:29; Ps. 85:8; Is 26:12; Is 45:7; 48;18, 22; Is. 55:11-12; Is. 57:19-21; Jer. 33:6; Luke 1:79; Luke 2:14; John 16:33

    3. Every Christian has peace
    a. He s our peace Eph. 2:14
    b We have peace with God Rom. 5:1
    c. When I am filled with the Spirit, I will have Holy Spirit peace Gal. 5:22
    d. He will fill you with peace Rom. 15:13
    e. His presence is our peace 2 Thes.3:16; Heb 13:20-21; Rev 1:4

    4. How do we have peace?
    a. Mind set on the Spirit is life and peace Rom. 8:
    b. Live in the Kingdom of God Rom. 14:1
    c. Meditate on His love Eph. 3:19
    d. Let Him rule in your heart Col. 3:15

    5. You are like Jesus when you mediate peace
    a The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Phi 4:9
    b. Those in the military and police may have to crush evil Rom. 16:20
    c. Live in peace with others 2 Cor. 13:11
    d. Become a joint Eph. 4:15-16
    e. Mediate in the ministry of reconciliation 2 Cor. 5:18-20
    f. Mediate and you’ll establish peace Job 9:33; Job 33:23; Is. 43:27; Gal. 3:19-20; 1 Tim. 2:4-5; Heb 8:6; Heb 9:15; Heb 12:24


  • You have PEACE with God through Jesus.
  • No one, no thing, and no circumstance can take that PEACE from you.
  • Because of the Lord Jesus, in spiritual maturity, you become the overflow of
  • PEACE around you.


  • You’ll have to let the  PEACE rule to live His peace. Woman, who humbled herself before Jesus.
  • Consider every source of tension – you can maintain peace because of His PEACE
  • What steps do you need to take in order to complete the work of PEACE with others around you?


Ephesians Summary

Blessed by God to His praise that we might live his power for victory

From wrath to Grace, Christians are united in peace by our Cornerstone

God revealed mysteries of His grace and purpose to know His goodness and love

Walk worthy in oneness growing to oneness putting off and putting on Christ

Imitate God walking love, light and wisdom discipling marriages to reveal Christ

Disciple families and workers to Christ with spiritual armor in the angelic conflict