Tag Archives: SGL

SGL: How to Host a Home Group

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            Small Groups (or Home Groups) are likely the best place to help a Christian grow through the spiritual stages of life. There are many important roles, including leading the discussion, follow-up, and hosting that people traversing spiritual growth can practice.  Hosting is important, Continue reading →

SGL: How to encourage faithfulness in the homework preparation

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Small Group Leadership: How to encourage faithfulness in the homework preparation

            My high school was in my review mirror almost forty years ago.  In that 40 years, I have seen far more people struggle with a willingness to do homework than people who want to do homework.  Homework is often seen as childish or something that had to be done during school and it should not be required of adults.

However, another term for homework is biblical practice and that comes from Philippians 4:9, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Phil. 4:9)
            The unwillingness to do homework, or biblical practice, comes from people who do not understand their purpose after trusting in Jesus Christ as their Savior.  Once a person becomes a child of God (John 1:12), they enter a phase of life that requires sanctification.  Sanctification is the process of being set apart to God in thoughts, words and actions.  Paul writes, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality.” (1 Thes. 4:3) If God’s will is your sanctification, then you as a Christ-follower need to understand what is involved.
            Sanctification is not a mystical process. It is the process of becoming set apart for the Lord Jesus Christ in His work on earth. Sanctification is accomplished by the Word, “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17). 
Sanctification is empowered by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit initially sets the believer apart to God at salvation called regeneration. (Tit. 3:5)  The Holy Spirit baptizes, or identifies, the believer into the body of Christ out of the world (1 Cor. 12:13). It is the Holy Spirit who guides the believer into truth, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” (John 16:13). 
Sanctification is accomplished by faith. Faith initiates God’s work in your life. There are spiritual disciplines1 that you can practice in order to grow in your relationship with the Lord.
Homework is a major component in the sanctification process.  It is the process of putting into biblical practice what you learn from Scripture (Phil. 4:9).  It is a means of being a doer of the word as James writes, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. (Jam. 1:22)  And how do you become a doer of the Word? James continues,

·         23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror;
·         24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.
·         25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.  (Jam. 1:23-25)

How does a believer become a doer of God’s work? He becomes a doer by continuing in it, or practicing what he learn, or what we call homework.  Any other attitude is complacency, laziness, or even pride.

            So how can you encourage homework preparation?  Here are several suggestions.  First, make sure you have answered the questions. In other words, do the homework yourself. If you as the leader come unprepared, why should anyone else prepare? Doing the homework will give you insights on how you might lead the discussion and help you think of follow-up questions.  Doing the homework is not so that you can provide the answers, but when there is a long pause, you may be able to prompt the discussion by providing one of the answers that you have recorded. 

            Secondly, tell people you are going to be discussing the questions and prep work is important.  Make sure your group knows doing the homework is one of the expectations for a fruitful discussion.  Doing the homework is part of being other-centered, because they are learning to contribute to the discussion rather than just soaking in the discussion. “Life is not about me,” it is about Jesus Christ and loving others.  Homework prep is part of loving others.

            Thirdly, let people know you are not merely talking off the cuff. Ensure people know by your page of notes completed, that you have done your work. You don’t make an issue of that completed homework, but you do have it done and it will be obvious by your facilitation that you have done your homework.

            Fourthly, affirm people that the more they prepare, the better the results they will acquire from the discussion.  Homework is a little like meditation.  Scripture reading is an important spiritual discipline.  Yet, meditation on passages of Scripture is also an important spiritual discipline that allows the Holy Spirit to guide a believer deeper into the Word.  Meditation is thinking over and over on the passage, like a cow chewing its cud, so that you gain more spiritual value from God’s Word.  That homework prep will provide a more fruitful discussion for the sake of the group, not just the individual.  In fact, ask the people for what they have written down, not just what they think.  That will enforce that they need to prepare by writing down the answers before arriving to home group.

            Fifthly, affirm people in the homework done.  Highlight with a testimony of one who prepared ahead of time to describe what they are learning. That testimony of God’s work as a result of doing the homework may be the prompting that will motivate another believer to ramp up their spiritual walk with the Lord and take the time to do the homework.

            Homework is not schoolwork.  Homework is not childish busy-work.  Homework is not a curse.  Homework is a part of God’s plan which shows a believer’s faithfulness and desire to please God.  Homework shows his personal desire to press on to the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Your investment into doing the homework will provide a great spiritual return and ministry to other people.

1I discussed 15 Spiritual Disciplines under the following three links.  There are five disciplines discussed under each link and the last five are the most difficult disciplines to learn for Christians:

Active Disciplines: http://renewingtruth.blogspot.com/#!/2013/03/words-spiritual-disciplines.html

Active Disciplines: http://renewingtruth.blogspot.com/#!/2013/03/words-spiritual-disciplines-part-2.html

Reflective Disciplines: http://renewingtruth.blogspot.com/#!/2013/03/words-spiritual-disciplines-part-3.html

 

SGL: What is the purpose of a small group?

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What is the purpose of a small group?

Many people may have many different reasons for participating in a small group, but for the small groups or home groups at Grace, there is one purpose. There are many reasons to join and many effects, but there is one purpose.  That purpose is to fulfill the Great Commandment and the Great Commission in the most effective way.

            The Great Commandment is:

  • 37 Jesus said to him, “`You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
  • 38 “This is the first and great commandment.
  • 39 “And the second is like it:`You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt. 22:37-39)

The Great Commission is:

  • 19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
  • 20 “teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. (Matt 28:19-20)

When you make life about God, instead of self, all things move into harmony with His will.

People often join small groups for their own reasons, just like people do everything.  They want what they want when they want it.  We don’t know any better when we are born and we have to be disciple to God’s will. Some people join small groups because they want to identify with a group of people, or they want to learn in a Bible study, or they want the fellowship of others in a good and safe environment.  Some people join small groups because they get dragged into one by their spouse, or they join because they think they might be able to develop business relationships, or they think the leader may have something they want.

What is at the core of each of the above reasons?  It’s all about self.  I’m not condemning those reasons, because in themselves they are not bad, but they reveal motivations that are coming from a spiritual infant or spiritual child. Again, I’m not condemning those reasons, but the person has not grown spiritually to understand the purpose of a small group.  They have not grasped the purpose of a small group, because they have not been taught the purpose, or they have not been discipled to understand the purpose, or they have heard it, but have not sealed it in their thinking.

The purpose of a small group is to help 80% of the congregation become spiritual parents, who are purposing to disciple spiritual parents.

If you have the vision of discipling spiritual parents on the part of the leadership, then all the reasons people join small groups will lead to the right goal.  Spiritual infants and spiritual children always have self as the focus and that’s normal.  No one condemns a spiritual infant or spiritual child for their personal actions.  However, the leadership has to keep in mind the purpose, so the small group does not get off track and merely become a Bible study or social gathering as an end in itself. The enemy would gladly be content with that, if it doesn’t lead to multiplication.

When the purpose becomes a Bible study or social gathering (many try to call fellowship), it really is about self and the true purpose is hindered and the godly influence intended by the Lord into the community is hindered.  Bible study should always be a main focus.  Fellowship should always be a reason for small groups.  But you can study the Bible over 50 lifetimes and never fully understand all there is in Scripture.  God said through Hosea, “My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.”  (Hosea 6:4)  Yes!  Israel didn’t have knowledge of God.  That was the issue.  It wasn’t that they didn’t understand the divine decree or the 8 different forms of baptism  inn Scripture.  They did not know the Lord. 

Teachers who say you have to go to Bible study after Bible study often do it to control people and remain superior to them.  They like people dependent on them or the glory of having people flock to their audiences.

When the purpose of the small group is fellowship, then the fleshly result will result in remaining in the comfort zone of those in the small group.  God does not want one group of people always fit together without expanding and connecting to new people.  When people say the purpose is solely fellowship, they have the attitude, “Us four and no more.”

If you keep the purpose of small groups as raising up spiritual parents, you will keep the right balance on Bible study and fellowship.  Spiritual parents multiply and create more spiritual parents who grow by doing Bible study and fellowship.  Let’s keep growing!

 

 

SGL: How do you handle questions when you don’t know?

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Small Group Leadership: How do you handle questions when you don’t know?

 

            One of the great lessons from seminary was learning the three most difficult words a new pastor has to learn.  The new pastor wants to look good and to help people consider him well studied and well prepared.  He wants to lead his church and to demonstrate he wasn’t born yesterday.  Yet, his three most difficult words he must learn, if he is going to survive with humility are, “I don’t know.”

            The purpose of leading a home group is not to know all the answers.  The purpose is not to do all the talking.  And the purpose is not to be the “Bible Answer Man.”  The purpose of small groups is to raise up spiritual parents who will be able to lead other people to become spiritual parents.  Therefore, the leader cannot do all the talking.  He cannot answer all the questions.  He cannot be the “head honcho.”  He is the facilitator to help raise up other spiritual parents. Therefore, saying, “I don’t know” should not be a problem.  Consider the following ideas.

            First, there will be questions that catch you off guard.  For example, I was checking on a home group and the group was answering some questions about Revelation.  The question was something about the New Jerusalem coming down from heaven and who would occupy it.  It caught me off guard and I had to say, “I don’t know. I’ll get back with you.”  So I just took some time the next day and got back with the group the next week.

            Second, the issue in a difficult question is not knowing the perfect answer.  Knowing the answer is good and arriving at the right answer is better, but it is also important to send the question back to others in the group and ask them what they know.  Again, it’s important to get other people thinking and trying to verbalize, so they can grow spiritually and become spiritual parents.  Spiritual parents don’t have to know all the answers, but they have to know the answers are found in Scripture.  It’s better to show dependency on the Spirit’s guidance into God’s Word for the right answer than making up an answer that sounds right.

            Thirdly, the issue is caring about the person who asks the question.  It is far more important to care for the person and show unity of trying to understand God’s answer than knowing the right answer.  God is far more honored by unity of thinking than brains on a stick.

            Fourthly, be ready to say, “I don’t know.”  Showing humility and weakness is far more valuable than trying to be the Bible Answer Man for the group.  People respond to humility and weakness and will be willing to step up in spiritual leadership if they know they don’t have to have all the answers.

            Fifthly, find the answer for the question. It is okay not to know the answer, but spend some time in research.  It will be a blessing to you and a help in your spiritual growth.  Ask others to do research, because it will stretch them and help them become better students.  The discovery process and journey is far more valuable than a quick answer.  It shows a diligent student who does not want to be ashamed and rightly dividing God’s Word (2 Tim. 2:15).

            Sixthly, report back to the group your results.  The right answer is always a joy.  But to report back your results that are not definitive is alright also.  You do not have to have the perfect answer when you report back.  Sometimes, it is better to not have the complete answer, because, again, it helps people see that they might be able to facilitate and to lead a group themselves.  That is the goal of a small group – people who are raised up to lead other groups.

            When you do not know the answer to the question, say so. You can always say, “I don’t know, but I know the One who does.  Let’s all do some research over the week and report back what we find.”  That will stir the people up to dig into God’s Word in dependence upon the Holy Spirit to guide them into Truth. Everyone will be blessed.

SGL: How to Encourage Hosting

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SGL:  How to Encourage Hosting           

            Home groups (or small groups) are one of the best means of discipleship.  They gather a dozen people, or so, to connect, equip and multiply for the sake of the kingdom.  They help people risk venturing out of their comfort zone to answer questions, to lead discussion and eventually to prepare to lead their own group.  Leading their own group is the goal for 80% of the people.

            One of the steps in the goal of leading a home group is learning how to host.  Everyone, including leaders should take their turn at hosting.  Hosting is a necessary part of leadership and becoming other-centered.    

            There are several principles that every leader should remember in preparing host couples.  First, ask someone else to bring a treat to home group.  This is a first step to hosting a group.  They are not preparing their home; they are preparing a treat and bringing it to home group for people to enjoy together.  The treat should be simple, rather than elaborate.  If it is elaborate, then this aspect of hosting can become a competition issue.  Food is about bringing people together, so that they can talk, rather than be wowed by the treat.  Home group is about relationships, not food, yet food is an important ingredient to connecting people together.

            Secondly, visit with someone and help them see they could host a group. Your direct interest in the couple with the purpose to cast vision for them will lead them to understand what is involved in hosting.  When you take the time to meet with someone, you are showing your trust in their potential leadership.

Thirdly, explain to them what is involved in hosting a home group. Hosting a home group merely involves providing an environment where the group becomes the focus rather than the setting.  It’s best to have as few distractions as possible in the home so as to not detract from the discussion.  For example, the house should be de-cluttered and clean. It should have sufficient chairs or seating for the group. It should be maintained at a temperature that is conducive to discussion rather than a distraction of being too warm or cool.  And because people have food and pet allergies, the host couple will need to be sensitive and avoid certain foods, like peanut products, and to at least inform visitors of home pets.   At a minimum, water should be provided. The home group can be anyone’s home, small or big, because it is not about the home, but about the people who are gathering.

Fourthly, ask that couple to host the home group in their home rather than the leader’s. This preparation gives them more responsibility toward the goal of leading their own home group.  Remember the purpose is not to be wowed by the setting.  It’s all about connecting people together, so they can be equipped to learn how to multiply.

            Fifthly, affirm the couple in their hosting. Give the host couple feedback on their hosting.  If corrections need to be made, talk with the host couple when others are gone.  Affirm their willingness to host and the things they did well.  Ask them questions to understand how they established the environment.  Seek resolutions that are both possible for the host couple and helpful for those who attend.  And then evaluate in the coming weeks.

            Hosting can be fun for people and is a step in the process of becoming a leader of a home group.  Affirm your host couple in what they are doing well and seek others to be hosts to the group as well. Remember, your ultimate goal is multiplication so that 80 percent of the people become leaders or spiritual parents and leading in their own home group.

SGL: How to help Faithfulness in Attendance

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Small Group Leadership: How to help Faithfulness in Attendance 

            We live in a culture that has a multitude of options.  People can watch hundreds of shows if they have cable, and they can call or text with another any time they want and very inexpensively.  There used to be party lines when I was a boy.  A party line is where several families in different homes used the same phone line and you had to wait until another family was off the line before you could make a call.  Of course, you also could listen in on conversations, if you were very quiet.  That is not an issue today as almost every person in every family has their own personalized cell phone number. We have developed a technological society in which we can do what we want almost when we want it. 

            We live in a time when people are not faithful in church attendance.  Church is important to many Christians, however, for many others, it is one of those things to add to the schedule and then when it is convenient, “You can count on me!” I was speaking to a pastor-friend who lives out west and he mentioned that if a person comes to church twice a month, they are considered committed – and that’s for an elder or deacon! 

            We live in a hedonistic society that can enjoy almost anything it wants and that’s just the acceptable opportunities.  A person can watch just about anything he wants on television, he can travel just about anywhere he wants to enjoy incredible beautiful scenery, he can attend a multitude of sporting events, or a whole host of other options. How do you suppose that affects attendance in a small group?  How does that affect things, especially, when there are very few who are starving or going without, because of all the government programs?  Who really needs God? 

            Everyone needs God, but only those who choose to seek first the kingdom will be faithful in attendance and use every opportunity to grow and encourage others to be faithful in connecting, becoming equipped and multiplying for the sake of the kingdom.  How can you encourage others to be faithful in attendance?  This is not an area that I have mastered.  I’d like to say I have the magic formula, but these are only a few suggestions.

            First, pray for your group (Jam. 5:16).  All the suggestions in the world will be fruitless unless God is working in their lives, unless people are responding to the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit, unless people are motivated by a love for Jesus Christ and love for others, and unless people make the choice themselves.  You can manipulate people to come, but if it is not by their own free will, they will become unfaithful in attendance again, once your prodding dissipates.

Secondly, tell people you are glad they came (Rom. 16:16).  People appreciate the connection and affirmation.  The technology boom is actually hurting real relationships and people thrive to know they belong and can have fellowship.  Texting, etc., is helpful to communicate data, but social relationships and the emotional sense of belonging lack satisfaction in our culture.  I encourage you to tell people you are glad they came rather than thanking them, because thanking them may make them think they have done something great, when they should be thanking you for having a home group.  If you thank someone for not doing anything, their pride can easily set in.

            Thirdly, call people who were missing (1 Cor. 12:25) .  This lets people know you care and are interested in them.  It also prevents time from passing and finding out several weeks after the fact that they had a major struggle in their life, like the death of a parent, trouble with a child, or a divorce. Don’t hesitate to call and just say, “We missed you last night, is everything going well for you? Is there anything we can do for you?”  That keeps the questions from being judgmental or critical and allows the person an easy choice not to return.

            Fourthly, spend time with them outside of the meeting (1 Jn. 1:7).  There are times when a strong relationship can be built outside of a meeting for connection.  The outside time shows the person that they matter and it is an opportunity to ask questions that you may not want to ask in the group.  People are becoming more and more “shy.”  That seems like an acceptable reason why people don’t get involved or become committed.  It is really just a form of self-centeredness, because the person is not concerned about others as Scripture commands.  The outside meeting with someone may be an opportunity to exhort and admonish what you wouldn’t do in front of others.

            Fifthly, give them opportunities to serve within the gathering (Gal. 5:13).  These are opportunities for ownership in the group and a reason for consistent attendance.  You must give opportunities to serve within the group any way, because that is part of discipleship.  People need to participate in the small group if they are going to be trained and prepared to multiply for the sake of other home groups. 

            Sixthly, exhort them to do the homework (Phil. 4:9).  Show them how much better the discussion goes when they prepare prior to the meeting by looking over the passage, their own sermon notes and preparing answers for the Message Based Discussion Questions (MBDQ).

            These are just a few tips and suggestions for how to develop greater commitment and faithfulness in attendance.  Ultimately, they have to make the choice.  If they are not pursuing the Lord Jesus Christ and the upward call of God in their lives (Phil. 3:12-14), they will spiritually wilt when the sun gets hot or their circumstances become difficult.  Your role is to be faithful and keep training your people and meeting them where they are.  Don’t let go.  Don’t give up.  Don’t get discouraged.  Your faithfulness will inspire faithfulness in them.

            You may have other suggestions. You can freely make them in response to this article.  May the Lord multiply our ministries!

 

SGL: How to Encourage People to Talk

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Small Group Leadership: How to Encourage People to Talk

 
 
            For people who are content just sitting and listening, how do you encourage them to talk in a small group? Permit me to over-generalize. There are some people who are extroverts and they often talk without thinking or without considering that there are other people in the room.  Then there are introverts, who would rather die than talk.  The purpose of the home group (small group) is to connect people to worship God, equip people in grace to become more like Jesus and multiply to reach the world with the gospel.  If people only sit and listen they will never spiritually advance into the aspects of equipping and multiplying.  Therefore, leaders must encourage people to talk and even take active roles of leading and facilitating.  How can a leader accomplish that?

            Why don’t people talk?  They have not been discipled regarding spiritual growth.  They had probably said something in the past that embarrassed them and they don’t want to look like a fool again.  Or maybe they gave a wrong answer and the leader or other participants made fun of their wrong answer.  They feel like they failed and no one wants to fail.  Or they want to be approved and if they give an answer that is off topic, a little “weird,” or not very spiritual, they might be found out as a spiritual fake. People are inhibited because they don’t want to look like a fool, to fail, or to be found out as a spiritual fake. It is because fearis a great inhibitor for speaking in public, even if there are only a dozen people.

            I know many people who are greatly inhibited.  They may be introverted or maybe hurt in some other situation that makes them willing to be a part of the group, but not wanting to risk saying something others will criticize or ridicule.  In any case, they will need encouragement to participate.  Here are a few suggestions to encourage quieter people to talk.

            First, get people talking with an ice breaker.  An ice breaker is a question, activity, prayer request time, or humorous illustration that requires each individual to participate and respond.  I normally use one of the above and then ask for a response from every person.  The activity or question must be easy enough that anyone can participate or answer the question.  It can be as easy as, “What kind of music did you listen to when you were growing up?”  That was from a recent Message Based Discussion Question from a sermon on “Music and Worship.”  I have also led playing the piano and getting everyone to sing a well-known song and then asking what their favorite song was.  Everyone can respond to that.

            Secondly, affirm what is said. When a person responds to an answer, verbally affirm the words, without adding to what they say.  Your affirmation can be words, a tone of “Hmhmm!” or pleasure with your face to the person.  Have good eye contact when someone is talking.  Don’t be concerned about what you are going to say next.  Show by your face and body language that you are interested in what they have to say.

            Thirdly, use simple questions to get the person talking.  Use follow up questions once they have spoken to give them immediate encouragement.  In the Message Based Discussion Questions, especially in the “Digging Deeper” section, I ask a simple question based on the message or a passage of Scripture with a fill in the blank line.  Then I ask one or more other questions as follow up questions.  The fill in the blank is something just about anyone could answer, and that gets the cogs going so they will risk answering the other “deeper” questions.

            Fourthly, when a quiet person speaks, affirm them without making an issue of them.  This is an advance on the second principle, because it means that you should not patronize the person.  People who don’t like to talk, do not want you to make an issue of them.  They want to be included with the group.  If you make an issue of their response, whether brilliant or not so brilliant, they will be less inclined to respond in the future.  Affirm, but do not go overboard in your words.  Treat the person like you appreciated what they said, but you non-verbally considered that they would know the answer like anyone else.

            Fifthly, laugh with people, not at people.  Laugh loudly to bring joy, happiness and even hilarity.  But never laugh at the person.  You can laugh at the response if it was funny, but never so that the person thinks you are laughing at him.  He will clam up and you will need weeks of assurance or affirmation to get him to talk again!

            It’s up the leadership team to help people talk.  If people don’t talk, they will never learn to disciple others.  If they do not learn to disciple others, they will never be equipped, nor will they multiply disciples for the sake of the kingdom.  It is not about the leader doing all the talking.  It is about encouraging people to talk, so they can learn to articulate (explain) biblical truth and become leaders themselves.

 

SGL: Leadership: Casting Vision

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Small Group Leadership: Casting Vision

 

Leading a small group is the next best thing after leading someone to trust in Jesus Christ as Savior.  It is the adventure of watching the Lord work through you leading others on their spiritual journey to knowing Jesus.  There are victories and setbacks.  There are amazing testimonies of God’s grace and there are the disappointments of people choosing to become distracted in the American Disneyland.

            Leading a small group is definitely about leading a discussion with a group of people, but there are also many other responsibilities of the Small Group Leader.  One of those responsibilities is “Casting Vision.” Casting Vision helps people understand many things about themselves, about spiritual growth and about building in the lives of others.  Too many times people come only for what they are going to get out of the small group.  Thankfully, God can use that motivation to get people to join a small group, but God desires that leaders cast a vision to think outside of themselves.  What are some of the purposes of a small group leader “casting vision” to people in the small group?

First, life is not about them (John 5:19, 30).  A small group leader must lead in such a way that the people enjoy going, enjoy the discussion and the challenges and enjoy taking steps of responsibility in the group. In the process, the leader must help people see there is a bigger picture of why there are small groups and the intentional discipleship involved.

Secondly, there is an urgency of the future (Phil. 3:12-13).  Small groups gather to connect1 relationships, so that people can be equipped in discipleship to Jesus Christ.  The process should lead to multiplication to reach other disciples and influence the entire world.   If people come week after week without any sense of urgency, they will continue to come and miss out on the most important part of our vision.  The most important part of our vision is “multiply together with the gospel to reach the world.”2 Until people get the vision and motivation of multiplication, they will be content with the present, rather than pursuing for the future.

Thirdly, connect the vision to Scripture (Phil. 3:14).  Scripture is the one standard that measures all that we do, highlights what we are supposed to do and keeps us on track with making sure God’s will on earth will be as it is in heaven (Matt. 6:10).  Scripture is God-inspired (2 Tim. 3:16).  Scripture is one of the spiritual growth ingredients (Rom. 15:13-14). Scripture is living and powerful (Heb. 4:12). Vision is not about a personal agenda.  It must be tied to Scripture to ensure it is God’s agenda.

Fourthly, in addition to vision casting, do problem casting (Neh. 2:15-18).  Let the people know what the problem is so they can see their part in what God wants to do.  Nehemiah went about the city at night and came back to the people to let them know that the problem – the wall – was in ruins and needed to be rebuilt so they would not be a reproach. Today, the reproach is a lack of disciples following Christ, a lack of vitality in Christian relationships, a lack of enthusiasm in witnessing and a lack of leaders developing other key leaders. There are many other problems like strained marriages, rebellious children, young people leaving the church, etc. etc.  Take care of the first set of problems (raising up leadership) and the second set will be overcome.

Fifthly, help them understand why they need to act (Neh. 4:12-14).  Many people can see the picture and the problem, but not understand “why” they need to act.  Too many people think someone else will act.  Too many people think there are better equipped people to act.  Too many people don’t think their contribution will matter.  Small group leaders need to help people see their contribution is essential for the urgency and the problem.

Sixthly, show how the vision affects each person (Matt. 9:36).  A small group leader casts vision, so people (sheep) know where the leader (shepherd) is guiding them.  People need to know how the vision affects them going forward and how it affects them if it doesn’t go.  What are the ramifications if the people don’t grasp the vision?  A good illustration could be taken from the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  George was discouraged about life, until he saw what life was like without him in it.

Seventhly, call them to commitment (Luke 14:26, 27).  A disciple of Jesus Christ must make the commitment that nothing in life matters, but pursuing Jesus Christ.  He must decide that there are many good things to do in life and only a strong pursuit of Jesus will keep all relationships in balance.  He must commit to bearing His cross to keep all the distractions of the world in perspective and press to the ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord Jesus Christ.  A small group leader must be clear in his vision.  He must help people see the “baby steps” of spiritual growth.  He must be accessible to the people so when they have problems or questions, he is willing to talk. And he must give them measurable steps so they can see the process and progress of spiritual growth in the multiplication strategy.

            The small group leader must cast vision for the people to see where they need to go.  It’s like a shepherd leading the way to green pastures and still waters.  Cast the vision and disciple more closely those who want to follow your lead.

 

 

1Connect, Equip and Multiply are the three key words for the Grace Vision statement.

2This is the third sentence of the Grace Vision Statement.

SGL: Leading a Home Group: How to Encourage People to Pray

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Leading a Home Group: How to Encourage People to Pray

            Prayer is an essential ingredient for growth in the Christian life. There are three ingredients for growth, which include prayer (or faith), God’s Word and God’s empowering Spirit (Rom. 15:13-14).  As these three ingredients work in the relational environment of a small group, people will grow and want to pray. 
We listen to God communicate to us by listening to the reading, teaching and preaching of God’s Word.  We listen to God as we study and meditate on His Word.  But a relationship with God is built on two way communication.  People will never “know” the Lord, unless they have a dynamic prayer life.  That prayer life is developed over time.  We must help all Christians learn how to talk to God, just like a parent will help a baby learn how to talk to the parent.
            Yet, prayer is often a scary thing for some people.  For others, they hide behind the “shy” personality moniker or some others are just lazy and don’t feel like praying.  Here are several things you should consider in helping your group learn how to pray and grow spiritually to overcome their fear. 
First, people are afraid to pray in public. Even though they are talking to One who loves them more than anyone else, public prayer is like public speaking – it scares people to death!  They feel they might say a wrong word. They feel they might say something wrong. They feel awkward.  They can’t see God!  So for new people it’s frightening.
Secondly, people think praying is only for super spiritual people.They hear pastors and others give “eloquent” or really “spiritual” prayers and they think they have to pray like that also, or they better not pray.  Some don’t think they could ever sound spiritual enough, so they would rather remain quiet than say something that might come out “less spiritual.”  As a pastor, I think that way about my prayers at times.  Sometimes a prayer flows well, but other times, it seems like I stumble over myself or forget something important.  Yet, God knows my heart and I keep leading in prayer, because I know God wants me to talk to Him and lead others.
Thirdly, people have not been taught to pray.  Granted, prayer is just talking with God, but it is a big deal for new Christians.  There is no agenda, or order, or beginning or end that has to be said.  Using Scripture is the best thing to use in prayer, but it’s not an absolute, especially for new Christians.   If someone is a little nervous, they choose to think they don’t know what or how to pray.

Fourthly, people think what they pray must sound spiritual, intelligent and profound.  Fortunately, God hears the prayers of children often times more than the prayers of adults.  God is concerned with the faith behind the prayer more than the content or manner of prayer.
So what do you do?  I’ve tried things like asking people to pray one sentence prayers.  I’ve tried praying very simply so no one is intimidated.  I’ve tried asking who would pray for each of the prayer requests (but then that’s all they pray for and they are still uncomfortable).  But I’ve found something that seems to work.
In my home group, we close by praying around the circle.  I open the prayer time up for prayer requests, which I write down and then I tell the group that we’re going to go around the circle in prayer.  You can pray as you desire, or if you’d rather not, just tap the person next to you on the outside of the knee.  That tap lets them know it’s their turn to pray.  No one makes an issue of who prays or not.  To begin, I ask the person to one side to start and around the circle it goes.  That has been very effective in helping people feel relaxed about praying.  It’s not the inspired method, however.
You may want to meet with people outside the group who do not pray.  Your purpose is not to twist their arm, but to get to know them and build trust in the relationship.  As you get to know the person, you will be able to find out through discussion why they may not want to pray. 
Often it’s because they have never prayed in public and don’t know how.  In that case give them encouragement of something simple they could pray next time in the group, or even pray together right there with them – out loud.   It may be that as you see the person at the next meeting, you affirm them about the prayer time together from the last meeting. You may want to take some time to talk about prayer during one of the home group sessions.
Above all, affirm the prayer time with the group.  You don’t have to say something every time.  Yet, you can express once in a while how much you enjoy the prayer time together.  You can let people know how you are blessed by listening to the other prayers and praying along with them.  You the leader can dramatically change how people look at prayer and develop dynamic prayer lives.  There are many resources on prayer.  The key is that prayer is simply talking to God, expressing praise and thanksgiving for His goodness and character and for His ever faithful will in our lives.

 

SGL: Leading a home group: Asking a person to read

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Leading a home group: Asking a person to read

There are few things more exciting than watching people grow spiritually.  Some people are going to be like John the Baptist and grow in difficult, desert conditions and deliver God’s message in difficult times.  However, most people are going to be far more hesitant to participate, let alone lead.  What about asking people to read Scripture in a home group setting? Does it matter?
It matters about asking people to read. Some people are afraid to read in public, because they may think they will say a word wrong, not know a word, or just stumble too much if they have to read.  Be careful not to call on people to read, unless you know them well and you know they are very willing to read.  Calling on someone to read may shut them down that night and even cause them to back out completely. Consider the following thoughts when you want people to participate by reading in home group.
People are afraid they won’t read well.  That prevents people from participating.  Some people did not learn how to read well in school or talk well publically.  Public speaking is one of the most fearful things people can do.  Many would rather die.  Even in a home group, it’s fearful for some.
People are afraid of unfamiliar words in Scripture. There are familiar words like Mary and Joseph, but there are also words like Jahaziel or Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz (Is. 8:1), which look too scary to say in a closet!  People do not want someone else making fun of how they pronounce a word.  Even a snicker is intimidating, so people just don’t want to try.
People are “texting” communicators, rather than verbal communicators.  In our not so brave new world, people are getting used to texting back and forth and all the “text short-hand” causes people to text, rather than talk, even from opposite ends of a couch.  Hence, people would rather just sit and soak rather than do any reading.
Finally, people have been taught to be passive by watching television or the internet.  That passiveness rather than interaction makes people less willing to open up and read. 
So what do you do?  Here are several ideas.
First, ask for a volunteer to read the passage.  Normally someoneis willing to read it.  It’s okay if some would rather not.  Now, if the same person always does the reading, meet with them afterwards, outside the group and ask them to let others read and help them understand you are discipling everyone to get to the point of reading.
Secondly, talk to a hesitant person ahead of time to understand them.  Talk to the person to get to know them.  There might have been an incident in the past where someone made fun of them reading, or they used to stutter, or they just don’t think reading is “them.”  Listen to understand and empathize with them.  Compassionately and as a shepherd, ask them if they want to grow spiritually.  Then help them understand when they are ready, that reading is part of the process of growing spiritually. Help them see they will want to help others read and their overcoming will be an encouragement to others.
Thirdly, talk to a person ahead of time with a specific passage.If someone is not reading very often or at all, talk to them ahead of time and let them know a specific passage you would like them to read at the next group meeting and see if they are willing.  If willing, then make sure you tell them “thanks” right after they read, but don’t make a big deal about the reading in front of others.  After the meeting, affirm them much more enthusiastically and get their reaction.  Ask them if they are willing to do it again.  Keep working with the person to build confidence in the Lord and to participate with the group.
Fourthly, affirm those who read.  A simple “thanks” or “great” doesn’t hurt.  Is it necessary?  For most people it’s not, but what is the problem with giving extra encouragement and affirmation?  You’ll make disciples quicker by following these suggestions.
Asking someone to read is a small thing and yet it’s huge to some people.  A spiritual parent will consider where the person is in his/her spiritual growth and consider how best to stir him/her up to love and good deeds.