Tag Archives: God’s Way

Peer Pressure – Part 3

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So what is it about peer pressure that often makes life difficult?1  Here’s a scenario.  It’s Monday night.  You are tired after work and some of the guys invite you to go over to a restaurant with them.  They know you have a family.  You are new to the job and want to fit in.  So you think, “Well, just this time.”  You call your wife and tell her you’re going to go out with the guys.  After all, you just spent Sunday afternoon with the family. 

At the restaurant, everyone is having drinks before their meal, so you don’t want to be the odd one out and you order something to fit in – peer pressure.  You would never do this in public, but you let down your guard.  The meal is full of laughter and good bantering and this is the most you’ve laughed in a long time. You have only two additional drinks during the meal, but it’s not what you were planning – peer pressure.  You are struggling inside from the guilt of going against your conscience, but you’ve never felt so accepted. They invite you over for Monday Night Football and you’re thinking, “I might as well.  This will help me fit in with the guys at work.”  So, you call your wife and she even encourages you to go at this point. You didn’t tell her the whole story.

The peer pressure continues at Sam’s house, because he has the huge screen television and the beer is flowing – peer pressure.  You’re helping yourself to chips and dip and confine yourself to three more beers – peer pressure.  You’re thinking the food will absorb the alcohol.  You’re thinking, “I would never normally have one drink let alone so many.”

Fortunately, you have a big day at work tomorrow, so you excuse yourself at half time.  On the way home, you drive only slightly erratically.  You haven’t had that much to drink since you were in college and when you decided enough was enough.  It was, however, enough to get the police officer’s attention and a breathalyzer test.  He measured you at .08 blood alcohol content and gave you a ride to the county jail with a DUI.  Life changed overnight.  Why did this happen?  Not only does it go against your spiritual values, but you just weren’t thinking.

Social situations put us in danger unless we are confident and strong on values.  Certain peers, like work friends, can invite you into a world you may not normally enter.  You may sense something is wrong or even make you afraid that something doesn’t feel right.  That’s likely your conscience telling you something IS wrong. Scripture says, “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith, from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk… having faith and a good conscience, which some having rejected, concerning the faith have suffered shipwreck.”2  God gave you a conscience to discern right from wrong.  When you fill your conscience with Scripture, you’ll be able to discern godliness.3  You cannot trust what you see or hear, but you can trust God’s Word.  Ask yourself when you are in a peer pressure situation, “What would God’s Word guide me to do?”

Think about the consequences of your potential decisions.  “Would drinking here bring dishonor to the Lord’s name? Would drinking put me in a situation, like getting a DUI?”  Or, “Will this decision affect my health?”  “Will people whom I care about or care about me, be affected or disappointed by my decision?”  “What will I be thinking tomorrow if I choose this decision today?”  Once the decision is made, the consequences may be out of your hands.  You’ll have to live with the consequences.

When you make your decision against peer pressure, stick with it.  Nancy Reagan, former first lady, had a campaign called, “Just say No.”  It was a good campaign and was acceptable in all realms of sociology and religious networks.  However, it’s not enough.  If you say no to something, make sure you are saying yes to something and make that God’s Word. 

When someone pressures you to try something you question or know you shouldn’t participate in, try these responses.  Tell them, “No, thanks,” or “I’d rather not,” or “I’m not interested.”  If  the peer pressure continues, let them know you don’t appreciate the extra questions or just walk away.  It’s far better for you to walk away, or even run, because eventually the flesh on its own will give into the pressure.  Paul said it well, “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”4  I love the last part of the verse, “Pursue…with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”  Friends can pull you away from the Lord, or friends can strengthen your stand with the Lord.  Who are your friends?

The next segment will consider several other situations with which peer pressure can be difficult.

1I’m taking peer pressure in a negative way.  There is positive peer pressure, but for this article it is negative; 21 Timothy 1:5-6, 19; 3Hebrews 5:12-14; 42Timothy 2:22

Peer Pressure – Part 2

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This continues the initial discussion on peer pressure and the over arching mandate to consider who you are in Christ.

How do you deal with peer pressure?  Many people just ignore what other people say.  They are wired to shrug it off.  It’s like water off a ducks back.  But sometimes the pressure to conform is hard to discern and a tough challenge to know when to say, “No.”  Let’s consider four action steps for dealing with peer pressure.

The firstaction step you can take is “know your values” or “know what you believe.”  That might seem like a big concept, but it really comes down to the principles by which you live.  What is important to you?  What are the things you believe in?  They might be honesty, integrity, purity and getting along.  Getting along is a good team concept.  It helps people function well in a family or on a team. Yet getting along can influence you to go along with peer pressure if you are not careful.  What do you believe about what you will not compromise? 

Values can even be costly.  Scripture records, “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.1Sometimes it means you’ll have to take a stand or that you will lose out on an opportunity. You can never lose from God’s perspective if you choose for purity, for example. You may take a stand for purity and that means foolish people will make fun of you for being prudish or a goody-two-shoes.  Take the stand.  You’ll be the one who smiles twenty years from now when others are suffering for their foolish decisions.  Because you chose purity, you will always have the confidence knowing that you won’t have regrets.

The second action step you can take is to set realistic goals.  When you have goals or direction, you’ll be less influenced to follow the crowds.  Scripture records, “See then that you walk circumspectly (carefully), not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.2  Some people have no goals.  As the saying goes, they who fail to plan, plan to fail.  But the one who searches the Scriptures will be like the ant who works through the summer and will have provisions for the winter.3  Don’t become a workaholic.  God never intended us to work all day and night.4  Set realistic goals.  You may not be able to accomplish as much in one year, but you’ll see that in five years time, you’ll have accomplished far more.

The third action step is enjoy God’s creation around you.5  When you enjoy God’s creation, you’ll be less apt to be influenced by what the crowds think is something you need. Get rest; take time for a walk, do some reading and choose friends wisely.  Trust God in all your decisions by studying Scripture and depending on His Holy Spirit.  Life is short, so take time to cultivate what you know about God’s creation.

The fourth action step is seek after God’s purposes.  Scripture says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”6  When you seek God’s purposes, you’ll be less influenced by peers to their desires.  When you develop eternal interests, you’ll be less concerned about temporal desires like get rich quick schemes, desires to satisfy the flesh, gluttonous desires for foods beyond what exercise and work does not consume, desires for relationships that corrupt, or other earthly pursuits.

Preemptively overcome peer pressure by stepping out by faith in the actions steps and you’ll put on the armor of God to stand firm for godly principles.7 

The next segment will look at a specific situation of peer pressure and how to deal with it.

11John 3:3; 2Ephesians 5:15-17; 3Proverbs 6:6-9; 4Psalm 127:2; 5Psalm 19:1-6; 6Matthew 6:33; 7Ephesians 6:10-18

Peer Pressure

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Everyone over the age of five faces some kind of peer pressure.  It’s subtle.  Most people handle it well, because they don’t let it bother them, but many are moved along by the crowd like the bulls running down the streets of Pamplona, Spain.  It is what motivates many to buy certain kinds of cars, wear certain styles of clothes and even get caught in foolish activities, like sniffing.  Peer pressure.  Usually it’s when people around your own age try to influence your thinking. 

Sometimes peer pressure can be positive.  Peers can encourage you to participate in sports or band or even study hard for honor grades.  Peers can also exhort you to keep up some level of fitness.  These are obviously good forms of peer pressure or better termed exhortations.

Sometimes peer pressure can be negative.  This pressure comes from peers influencing you to use alcohol, drugs, skip school, have sex, vandalize property, make fun of people or bully other kids.  During youthfulness and even into adulthood, you have so many influences away from God’s holy standard and toward the common drudgery of the world. 

How do you make your own decisions?  How do you say no to negative peer pressure?  How do you deal with it in tough situations?

The key to peer pressure is to know who you are.  If you are a Christian, here’s your verse, “For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.  (Colossians 2:9-10)  If you know Jesus Christ, then you are complete in Him and the peer pressure of life does not have to influence you in a negative way.

When you realize you are complete in Jesus Christ, you will have confidence in Jesus rather than yourself.  You’ll be able to accept your strengths and weaknesses, because you know that God is working in your life to lead you to maturity.1 You’ll have greater respect for others, because you submit yourself to Christ’s authority.2 You’ll begin to trust yourself, because you are trusting what God is doing in and through you to accomplish His will.3  You’ll make your decisions with discernment, because you know God’s Word.4

If you continue in the world’s path, you’ll miss out on the freedom Jesus Christ wants for you.5 Depending on yourself, rather than the Lord, results in a lack of self-confidence, dislike of yourself, not trusting your decisions and unwillingness to accept who you were made by God.  Ultimately what happens is other people influence you and make your decisions for you.  You end up going down a wide road called a slippery slope, because it’s easy and so many are traveling down the same dumb road. Why?  Because what peers think is more important to you than what God thinks. 

The next segment will address some practical ways of dealing with peer pressure.

1Philippians 1:6; 21Peter 5:5-6; 3Ephesians 5:15-17; 4Hebrews 5:12-14; 5Galatians 5:1

Problems Can’t Stop God’s Plans

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Christianity is a great adventure.  When I taught through Acts, I called the series “The Great Adventure.”  When you walk with the Lord, in the light of His Word, by the power of His Spirit, life is a great adventure.  And yet there are often challenges and even adversaries.  When Paul was waiting in Ephesus and he wanted to see the Corinthians, but couldn’t go to them at that time, he explained to them, “For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.”  (1 Cor. 16:9)  Paul knew he had opportunities to disciple God’s Word in Ephesus and in the midst of adversaries, he decided to stay.

Sometimes we think, “If I’m a Christian, I shouldn’t have problems, or at least not ‘this many!'”  Yet, Paul realized that in this world, there would be trials and troubles in the midst of great opportunities for the gospel message and discipling of people.  If we expect that we shouldn’t face trouble, then we’ll be neutralized and not influence and not impact those around us. 

In fact, John is very clear that when God opens a door, no one can shut it and when He shuts a door, no one can open it.  Notice in this letter to Philadelphia that John writes in Revelation 3:8-9, “I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name. Indeed I will make those of the synagogue of Satan, who say they are Jews and are not, but lie– indeed I will make them come and worship before your feet, and to know that I have loved you.”  When God makes a way open, no one can shut it, no matter what they do, who they talk to, or who they assemble.   God will keep that way open.  God opened the door for Gideon when He used 300 soldiers with Gideon to stop 120,000 enemy forces. 

Does God have a problem keeping the door open?  His only problem is when we don’t trust Him and we get in the way.  We can miss out on the opportunity before us.  If God closes a door, there is nothing we can do to open it.  We can’t plot, assemble people to support our cause or work behind the scenes to get something going where God says “No.”  It’s far better to keep pressing forward in the midst of adversaries and challenges and watch for God’s deliverance.  He will make the deliverance in His time and He will show His ministry will prevail.

Are you married?  You have an open door of living as one reflecting Jesus Christ and the Church.  Be faithful and trust God to work with your spouse.  Are you troubled by disobedient children?  You have an open door of shooting straight arrows into the next generation with the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Be faithful as a godly parent and teach your children to obey, whatever and however long it takes.  Are you wondering about God’s ministry opportunities?  God always gives an open door for ministry.  Keep walking in the path God has opened to you and watch the mighty acts of the Lord!

Book Review: God versus Socialism by Joel McDurmon

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“God versus Socialism: A Biblical Critique of the New Social Gospel” by Joel McDurmon. This book will make you humanly mad and divinely wise.  We in America for too many years have fallen under the pretense that “America, right or wrong, America.”  The problem is that we are swiftly floating down the river of socialism in the name of doing good.  We Americans have bought the premise too many times that Scripture deals with spiritual issues and not other mundane concerns like politics, property and population.  We have begun to look to the king (government) for the answers, rather than trust the King of Kings and obey what His Word already says.

Joel McDurmon in his excellent volume “God versus Socialism” has done a brilliant job of exposing the evil promulgated by government programs intended to help the masses.  However, by helping the masses, the government messiah has stolen from the rich to enable the poor to continue in poverty.  There is only one King and He owns everything (Ps. 24:1).  The foolishness of man has been and is to look to man for answers which he will never resolve in the realm of mankind, Republican, Democrat or Independent.  Conservatives, especially the NeoCons of the last two decades are no better than their Liberal counterparts.  They have increased the size of government in the name of personal power and individual aggrandizement.

McDurmon astutely exposes the evil agenda of several contemporary authors and speakers.  At best they believe what they are writing will help, at worst, they are deceived by seducing spirits.  McDurmon uses the subtle, or not so subtle, agenda of Jim Wallis, Tony Campolo and Ronald Sider as examples of wolves in sheep’s clothing.  They have infiltrated many denominations and pulled them perilously close to the cliff, pushing many off into the chasms of ineptness and spiritual despair.  They have twisted and distorted Scripture for their own purposes, which in short is to strengthen man’s dependence on man’s government, to redistribute property and to dislodge the Christian’s understanding of biblical theology.

Christian Socialism is an oxymoron, because instead of freedom in Christ, Christians are set into bondage to the state.  Unfortunately too many Christians like the benefits they seem to get on their personal behalf and they don’t have to see who the government is stealing from in order to pay for what they need.  It’s simply another ploy from the demonic realm that Christians will one day find themselves in such a deep pit of dependence on government and not be able to extract themselves from that pit.  “The biblical view provides for freedom and responsibility, the socialist view leads to serfdom, slavery to government, and dependence on the state.” (p. 223)

Legalism considered

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Last night at my discipleship meeting the question was asked, “Do unbelievers practice legalism, or is what they do just heresy?”  I was vague in my answer, thinking that legalism is just for believers in trying to please God and an unbeliever cannot do anything to please God ever.  Therefore it wouldn’t be legalism and just heresy.  But re-thinking it I considered the four principles for legalism I mentioned on Sunday:      
     ·       Legalism is an attitude normally seen in actions.
      ·         Legalism is related to how a person approaches God.
      ·         Legalism imposes rules on the conscience, which hinders a relationship with God.
      ·         Legalism seeks to earn or deserve God’s favor based on obedience to law or rules.

I realized that that is what the Pharisees were doing and they were unbelievers (except for a few like Nicodemus, who eventually trusted in Jesus).  The Pharisees imposed  rules on the conscience (traditions of the elders) and they sought to earn God’s favor based on their obedience to the rules.  What they did was legalism.

God is never obligated to you or me based on what you or I do.  It is His Sovereign mercy that we’ll see this Sunday by which we experience any blessing in life. God only obligates Himself to His Word and His character.  He does not obligate Himself to us.  He is God.

But doesn’t God bless me when I obey Him? Jesus tells a great account about this in Luke 17:6-10,

6So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree,`Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. 7 “And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field,`Come at once and sit down to eat ‘? 8 “But will he not rather say to him,`Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink ‘? 9 “Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. 10 “So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say,`We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'”

This is so telling of the sovereign holiness of God.  Notice that last line.  When we obey God, we have only done what was our duty to do.  There is no obligation from God.  He only obligates Himself to what He has said (in His Word) and to His character. I’ll post some principles very soon on how to deal with legalism.

God’s way vs. Man’s way

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          On Sunday, we looked at the basic Biblical teaching on “God’s way vs. Man’s way.”  They are totally opposite and can be seen everywhere.  Man’s way is totally inadequate and completely rebellious, although that’s not how we’d like to think about things.  We laughed last night in Hungry Hunters talking about the way people look at man’s way: “Lower than God’s way” or “Maybe not as good as God’s way” or “We’re trying hard.”  I can hear a “man’s way” song coming out of it all!  But we were honest enough to say, “No, man’s way is totally opposite of God’s way.”  Only by choosing for God’s way – the process of transformation by means of God’s Word by His Holy Spirit – can we discern and choose to live out God’s way!  It renews the mind, so the heart is transformed and the life is sanctified!  Someone write a song about THAT!

            As you go about your days, look for the differences of man’s way and God’s way and they will become pointed and clear.
            This Sunday, we look at the last “Foundations” message on the three words that describe God’s plan.  What three words would you use to describe God’s plan or Scripture?  These three words summarize all of Scripture and the application will take us back to basics.  Hope to see you Sunday morning ready to respond to God’s Word and God’s Spirit’s leading.