Author Archives: shepherdbryan

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About shepherdbryan

My passion is to disciple and see men discipled in every area of their life to see the multiplication principle actually work in a 100 year generational blessing. As go men in the church, so goes the church. As go men in the nation, so goes the nation. Fortunately, because men have often not taken their spiritual role to the limit, God has raised up many godly women to carry the torch where men have laid it aside. May God rapidly raise up men for the next generation of leaders to the Fourth Generation of spiritual leaders! As men lead in a godly way, women will follow in a godly way and that people will be blessed of the Lord.

Q & A: Get a Grip on your Father’s Promise

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This is the Message Based Discussion Question sheet for the message presented on March 31, 2013, titled, “Get a Grip on your Father’s Promise.”  The message was posted on the April 1, 2013 blog.  Below, you will find the insert information for the message and then the questions are repeated with considerations for suggestions to the Message Based Discussion Questions.  They are only designed to assist your thinking and help you see that there are several answers for the Digging Deeper questions and there are many ways to answer the application questions.

Get a Grip on your Father’s Promise
Luke 24:32-49 

How do you get a grip on your Father’s promise?  

1)      When you experience Jesus, you can’t stop talking about Him   Luke 24:32-35

2)      When you encounter Jesus, you can’t help but enjoy His presence   Luke 24:36-43

3)      When you are empowered by the Father’s promise, you can’t help but lead   Luke 24:44-49
·         Acts 18:8; 16:31-34

The Promise of your Father will empower you to
Get a Grip on real life!
  • God has called every man to serve as a model of the Father. Joh 14:9
  • We men need to step up to the line and practice until we get it Phil 4:9
  • God will supply you what you need Phil. 4:19
  • We can do all things through Christ Phil. 4:13
  • Come join the team at Grace
Message Based Discussion Questions
1)      Do you remember a promise your father gave you growing up fulfilled?
Digging Deeper:
2)      Who are three heroes of faith in Hebrews 11? __________; ____________; _____________ What are examples of what they were trusting God for in the present and future life?  How many didn’t see the promise fulfilled in life?  Did that cause them to waiver in faith?
3)      Look up the following passages related to Father promises about the coming Messiah (Gen. 3:15; Gal. 4:4; Is. 7:14; Matt 1:18,24,25; Ps. 2:7; Matt 3:17; Gen. 22:18; Gal. 3:16. How many of the passages prophesy of the coming Messiah? ___________ How were those prophecies fulfilled?  What does that say about the promise of the Father?  What promises has He made to/for you?
4)      Compare Eph. 5:18 with Col. 3:16 and their contexts.  What is similar about each passage? ______________.  What is different? _______________.  Note Rom. 15:13-14.  What are the three ingredients of growth? (cf. Rom. 15:4)  Why is your utter dependence on these three aspects crucial to enjoying God’s presence?
Making application of the message to life:
5)      How have you experienced Jesus this week? Have you shared that with anyone? If not, what will you do?
6)      How would you describe enjoying Jesus’ presence to a sixth grader?  What are several ways a believer can enjoy His presence?
7)      The Father’s Promise is real.  Is it causing you to lead others in faith?  How could you initiate trust and application so it becomes a reality?
Message Based Discussion Questions

1)      Do you remember a promise your father gave you growing up fulfilled?

a)      He promised he’d pay me 2 cents per minute if I worked on waxing his car.  He paid me.

b)      He promised that however the family chose to go on a side trip while on a vacation that we’d go to that site.  I cast the deciding vote and we went.

c)      He promised he’d come down for my officer graduation and he came.

Digging Deeper:

2)      Who are three heroes of faith in Hebrews 11? _Abraham_; _Moses_; __Sarah_ What are examples of what they were trusting God for in the present and future life?  How many didn’t see the promise fulfilled in life?  Did that cause them to waver in faith?

a)      Example of those who trusted God:

i)        Abraham trusted God for a land of promise and a city which has foundation. He offered up Isaac and received the blessing, because he trusted God would provide for him.

ii)      Moses chose to suffer affliction with God’s people rather than the passing pleasures of Egypt looking to the reward in the future, fearing God instead of Egypt.

iii)    Sarah trusted God for a child when she was beyond the age of conception.

b)      How many didn’t see the promise?

i)        Abraham didn’t see the coming seed

ii)      Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau not knowing what would come

iii)    Jacob blessed his sons, not seeing the future

iv)    All of them (11:39)

c)      They did not waver in faith to lose the promise and were an example for us.

3)      Look up the following passages related to Father promises about the coming Messiah (Gen. 3:15; Gal. 4:4; Is. 7:14; Matt 1:18,24,25; Ps. 2:7; Matt 3:17; Gen. 22:18; Gal. 3:16. How many of the passages prophesy of the coming Messiah? __four_ How were those prophecies fulfilled?  What does that say about the promise of the Father?  What promises has He made to/for you?

a)      The prophecies were fulfilled:

i)        Gen. 3:15; Gal. 4:4 promise of the coming Messiah; He came in fullness of times.

ii)      Is. 7:14; Matt. 1:18,24,25 promise of the virgin birth of Jesus and fulfilled in Mary and Joseph

iii)    Ps. 2:7; Matt. 3:17 Jesus was the begotten Son of God and the voice from heaven spoke it.

iv)    Gen. 22:18; Gal. 3:16 The seed was promised and the seed was Christ.

b)      The Promise of the Father will be fulfilled.  He will provide what I need in life Phil. 4:19; He will train me up and strengthen me through Christ Phil. 4:13

c)      He promised that:

i)        If I cast my cares on Him, He would care for me 1 Pet. 5:7

ii)      If I chose to trust Him rather than be anxious, His peace would guard my soul. Phil. 4:6-7

iii)    If I chose to practice what I’m learning in the Word and from others, that His peace would be with me Phil. 4:9

iv)    If I chose to humble myself, He would draw near to me Jam. 4:8

4)      Compare Eph. 5:18 with Col. 3:16 and their contexts.  What is similar about each passage? _I need to be filled with something___.  What is different? _Spirit/Word_.  Note Rom. 15:13-14.  What are the three ingredients of growth? (cf. Rom. 15:4)  Why is your utter dependence on these three aspects crucial to enjoying God’s presence?

a)      Three ingredients of growth

i)        Faith

ii)      Word

iii)    Spirit

b)      My utter dependence is crucial, because I cannot produce anything good apart from His Spirit.  I cannot do anything except by His Word.  I must be totally dependent on Him to receive His blessing.

Making application of the message to life:
 

5)      How have you experienced Jesus this week? Have you shared that with anyone? If not, what will you do?

a)      He has strengthened me to do His work, when I’ve felt rotten.

b)      He has caused me to watch my tongue, when my flesh wanted to say something sarcastic.

c)      He caused me to steady my thinking when I might have been frustrated working on the wiring.

d)      He caused me to get a better mortgage deal by waiting on Him and not rushing the decision.

e)      Can share with family tonight at dinner.

6)      How would you describe enjoying Jesus’ presence to a sixth grader?  What are several ways a believer can enjoy His presence?

a)      It’s like sitting with a good friend who accepts you the way you are.  He also loves you to laugh and help where you’re failing.  He desires to help you stand up and keep moving toward sanctification.  It’s chilling out when no one else is around and enjoying being with Him.  It’s not having to talk.  It’s enjoying to just be silent and looking at the world around me.  It’s like you know He cares and He’ll never leave you alone.

b)      A believer enjoys His presence by silence, meditation on God’s Word, looking at scenery, being alone in the dark.

7)      The Father’s Promise is real.  Is it causing you to lead others in faith?  How could you initiate trust and application so it becomes a reality?

a)      Yes, it motivates me to use opportunities to talk to people about Christ, especially in counseling and discipleship.

b)      I need to build bridges to people so I am using those opportunities to walk through the gospel.

c)      Am I leading others to Christ?  Have I put roses in the vase?

Question: Are Sign Gifts operational today?

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Question: Are Sign Gifts operational today?

 

Many good students of Scripture will rest on 1 Cor. 13:10, when it comes to answering the question whether the sign gifts are available today or not.  Basically, the perfect [the Bible] has been completed, so the partial [sign gifts] are removed. It is a valid thought process, but likely not the best supported interpretation of that passage.  There are many well-thought-out reasons why this simplistic approach is not a correct interpretation.  There are much better reasons taking into consider the context of 1 Corinthians 12-14, within which 1 Corinthians 13:10 is found and other explanation. 

For example, in the context of Ephesians 2:20, the gifts of apostle and prophets were the foundation for the building structure of the church.  Those gifts ceased during that first century foundational era with the completion of the canon of Scripture. However, you cannot argue the sign gifts have ceased because of that passage. 

There are other passages like Philippians 2:26-27 and 2 Timothy 4:20, in which Paul was present with very sick co-laborers in the gospel.  Paul, who had healed others, gave no indication that he was able to heal again as he did in Malta (Acts 28: 8,9).  Is it possible that God took away the gift of healing from Paul?  If so, why?  Was the purpose for which Paul had the gift of healing now completed?   

Much of church history shows a vacuum of sign gifts until the beginning of the 1900s.  It was in the modern Charismatic movement in Los Angeles, California, in 1904, when the power seemed to be restored.  Yet with all the writing, there have been objective investigations to verify the veracity of “the miracles.”  The dead were not raised, the lame were not healed.  The blind did not receive sight.  The modern tongues movements seemed to be questioned because modern tongues are a repetition of a small number of phrases, in contrast to the biblical examples of Acts 2 and 10. The miraculous do not match the miracles presented in the New Testament.

I’m very open to the presence of sign gifts, but I see that with the provision of greater amounts of the canon or “measurement” of Scripture, sign gifts were not recorded as in the initial apostolic days of beginning the church.  The reason may be because of the purpose of sign gifts.  The reason is the same reason as any of the miracles in Scripture.   

God allowed miracles in order to draw attention to the truth.  Moses was one who worked many miracles (Ex. 4:1-5)

Then Moses answered and said, “But suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice; suppose they say,`The LORD has not appeared to you.'”
 2 So the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?” He said, “A rod.”
 3 And He said, “Cast it on the ground.” So he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from it.
 4 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail ” (and he reached out his hand and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand),
 5“that they may believe that the LORD God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has appeared to you.”  (Ex. 4:1-5)

God gave Moses miraculous powers, so “that they may believe that the Lord God…has appeared to you.” (Ex. 4:5).  God also worked the plagues and other miracles to give the entire nation of Israel reason to trust God was speaking through Moses. God gave Elijah miraculous powers, so Israel would believe God appeared to Elijah and was speaking through Him. 

God also worked miracles through Jesus, so the people would be attracted to Him and believe His words.  After Jesus fed 5000, people came back for more.  Sometimes when you give people what they want, they only want what they want rather than the truth, so Jesus didn’t give them more food.   

During one of the Passovers, Jesus had 5000 men and their families, who needed to eat.  Jesus directed the disciples to feed them (John 6: 4-10). They recognized they could make the provision, so God used the opportunity to reveal His ability to provide through Jesus and they should listen to Jesus. Jesus fed the people and an abundance was recovered (John 6: 11-13).  Those who saw the “sign” recognized Jesus as “the Prophet who is to come into the world.”  But when Jesus perceived the people were going to “take Him by force to make Him king, He departed…”(John 6: 15)  Jesus knew they only wanted Him to be a Bread King, not a Suffering Messiah Savior, so He withdrew from letting the “sign gift” or “miracle” from being a distraction.  The importance was the message, not the sign.  The sign was to lead to the message – Jesus Christ, sent from God for the world. 

If the message is clearly communicated in Scripture, are sign gifts needed today?  Jesus told the account of the rich man and Lazarus and how the rich man wanted Lazarus to go back to the world to tell the rich man’s brothers that they must repent.  The rich man was counting on the miracle of someone coming back from the dead waking his brothers up from their complacency,

27 “Then he said, `I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house,
 28 `for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’
 29“Abraham said to him, `They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’
 30“And he said, `No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’
 31“But he said to him, `If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.'” (Luke 16:27-31)

Abraham was very clear, [“If they don’t believe what was written, they will not believe.”] The issue of the sign gifts is not having a great miracle.  The issue of the sign gifts is to draw attention to the truth of the Word.  If the Word is completed today, then is there a need for sign gifts?  I’m open to explanations, but I’ve found explanations for present activity wanting for substance.  

Maybe you have some Scriptural support that God is using sign gifts today.  I know they will begin again during the Tribulation and the Millennium, but I’m not seeing the need today.  Could God use sign gifts in primitive places?  I’ve heard some experiences that seem plausible.  I know God can do what He wants to do.  If He puts Himself in a box during this dispensation and restricts them because of the completed canon, I cannot change that.  Let us dialogue for unity and peace.  Let us also ensure we rely on the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live godly lives in the discussion process.  We want to follow the excellent words:

In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.  We should strive for unity in the sphere of love as we pursue the truth.
 

SGL: Coaching Small Group Leaders (2)

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SGL: Coaching Small Group Leaders (2)

I love it when men bring together their leadership and serving others. As I watched a guy lead, I thought, “He’s got it.”  “He understands what he needs to do.  He’s there, not for himself, but for others.” 

Prior to arriving at the home group meeting, I told him I’d open the home group and then I asked him to facilitate the “Message Based Discussion Questions.”  It was like clock-work. The initial orientation went just a little long, but our group is beginning to enjoy each other and I normally like to begin the “Digging Deeper” questions before I passed the leadership to him.

During the small group, I wrote down several key points of what he did well.  Maybe it is because he leads a group of young boys in our Wednesday evening ministry.  Maybe it is because he has been in several different kinds of small groups. But whatever the past, he’s doing it now. Here’s the summary.

First, he affirmed people’s responses, even in their reading.  Just a light ‘thanks,’ or thank you, or even verbal “uh huh.”  The affirmation keeps the people encouraged and willing to respond with greater thoughts. 

Secondly, he was positive and light-hearted. He wasn’t blasé or like Eeyore.  He was positive and encouraging to what people said. It’s difficult to “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep,” but the leader needs to be up and responsive to the participants 98% of the time, because it’s not about him, it’s about raising the people up.  Should a leader or facilitator let others know if he has a struggle? Sure.  But not so much that he can’t lead others.

Thirdly, he made good tie-ins back to the main message content from the questions. That keeps the consistency and unity from the message and creates a building aspect in the “Digging Deeper” portion of the Message Based Discussion Questions. 

Fourthly, he spoke well with his eye contact with each person talking.  He looked at the person talking and gave good non-verbal and tone of voice affirmation that he was tracking with each person.

Fifthly, he asked if there was anything else after a few comments were made.  He didn’t feel like he needed to do all the talking.  He didn’t respond to each comment, but he was definitely leading and carrying the conversation of learning on his shoulders. Before he went to the next question, he asked, “Any other comments?” Or, “Anything else?”

Sixthly, when there was a disagreement about an answer, he handled it extremely well by looking at how both answers could be considered and assigned us to re-look at the answer for the next week.  He didn’t waffle on the answer and didn’t come across as a know-it-all.  He recognized that the way the question was stated and the information in the text was presented, that both answers had merit, and what really mattered was the heart of the question.  He handled it very maturely.

Seventhly, he did a great job of summarizing the questions. He summarized the “Digging Deeper” questions and the “Application” questions so that people felt like there was a good ending to the discussion.  And what was the response?  As one person said, “That was a good discussion.”

I wish I could take credit for how well the group went.  Instead I thank God for how He continues to work in each of our lives to sharpen us to the truth and to present that truth in a winsome, biblical way.  Consider how some of these highlights might be incorporated into your small group leadership.  I know that night people were greatly challenged by the application questions about their personal responsibility with the message.

MSG: Get a Grip on your Father’s Promise

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Get a Grip on your Father’s Promise

Luke 24:32-49

There she was sitting across the room in a cuddle-lumtuous sweater, horizontal stripes of pastel yellow, pink, cream and blue colors.  Her hair was long, blond flowing down to her shoulders.  She had a bright smile and a twinkle in her eye, but I was trying to be spiritual, so I tried to ignore her.  She looked like someone I’d like to meet, but I was trying to be spiritual.  We both happened to be in a Christian organization leadership training class, so I was trying not to be caught staring at her beauty.

That summer I was going to be on a beach project at Newport Beach, CA, body surfing for Jesus, I mean winning souls for Jesus.  My peg on the USA map was at Newport Beach and I saw that she was going to be only about 70 miles away in San Bernardino– pretty close, but far enough that I’d be too busy on the beach serving Christ.  Then while on the project, because of my roommates need to see his parents in San Bernardino, a chance encounter, but only for a moment.

Several months later, my action group leader invited me to watch a movie on leadership at his church.  I showed up on Saturday night and there she was.  It was her dad’s movie projector and that’s where she went to church.  Guess what?  I switched churches.  I changed from driving  seven miles to church to driving 41 miles to church.  Great church.  Good teaching.  Good looking gal.

All I could do was think about this gal.  That long blonde hair with that sweet smile!  I needed to go out with her, but I decided to call her dad to ask permission.  I wanted to do this right.  Okay, dad’s permission granted and then delayed by her church’s communion pitch in.  Whoa, that was a  good time.  I couldn’t wait to call her on the phone.  I could hardly wait to drive the 37.2 miles to see her.  I knew every tenth of a mile and curve in the road and elsewhere to spend time with her.  I liked how she thought.  I liked how ordered she was.  I liked how she knew so much about Scripture and she wanted to memorize Psalm 119 with me!  Whoa, what a gal!

When you experience someone you love, you can’t stop talking about her.  She presented a promise of a good life together and I sure enjoyed the time I had with her.  Every meeting was an adventure, a romantic rendezvous. Whoa!  I couldn’t wait.  She thought like the woman I wanted to marry.  So just nine months after I first met her, three months after our first date, at the ripe old age of 20, I was hooked and said, “Will you marry me?”   When you encounter someone you truly love, you can’t help but enjoy her presence.  When you are inspired by the promise of a great life together, you can’t help but lead.  So, 35 years later, after many bumps in the road, Barbara, I love you more than ever….

The same is true with Jesus.  When you experience Jesus, you can’t help but talk about Him. When you encounter Jesus, you can’t help but enjoy His presence and when you are empowered by the Father’s promise, you can’t help but lead.  With that promise of an abundant life, how do you get a grip on your Father’s promise?  The Children have joined us today, “Children, you should each have an insert. I’m going to give you three things to draw in the boxes, or you can write on your insert.”  

1)      When you experience Jesus, you can’t stop talking about Him   Luke 24:32-35

There were two men walking along the road to Emmaus talking about the events of the last week, when Jesus approaches them from behind and asks them what they are talking about.  One of the men, Cleopas, acts surprised that anyone would ask such a question.  So he recalls great details about Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified, but He was seen alive. As they walk along, Jesus admonished them and helps them understand through Moses and the prophets that the Scriptures were fulfilled in Jesus.  As they approached the village the two men constrained Jesus from proceeding further and asked Him to join them to eat and rest. When they took bread, Jesus blessed it, broke it and gave it to them and their eyes were opened.  Then Jesus vanishes! [Children, draw a picture of your dad]

In our passage, the men were ready to flip out.  They became like two roosters welcoming the morning.  With great enthusiasm, the men begin to converse as Luke records,

                     32 And they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us  
                on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?”
              33 So they rose up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven and those 
              who were with them gathered together,
              34 saying, “The Lord is risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!”
 35 And they told about the things that had happened on the road, and how He was known to them in the breaking of bread. (Luke 24:32-35)

The men were like a dozen Colts fan after the 2007 Superbowl! They described how their hearts were burning on the road before they knew it was Him as He opened Scriptures (22:32). Emmaus was 7 miles from Jerusalem, so they quickly left Emmaus and ran to see the rest of the disciples (22:33).  They arrive and find the disciples talking up a storm about the events!  They respond to the men, that indeed they know Jesus had arisen and He appeared to Peter!  Yes, even Peter, the one who denied Jesus three times (22:34). The two men related to the others how their hearts burned on the road and then they recognized Him while breaking bread!

Do you experience Jesus?  When you do, you can’t help talking about Him.  If you are not talking about Him, you haven’t experienced Him!  And when you do encounter Him, you look forward to His presence! 

2)      When you encounter Jesus, you can’t help enjoying His presence   Luke 24:36-43

I’ll never forget that Friday night on the way over to Barbara’s house. She asked me what I wanted her to fix for us to enjoy eating at her house.  I told her lobster.  So she bought these two large lobsters. 

Now, when you are in love, it’s like looking into the sun.  You can’t see anything else.  It seems sometimes, you don’t know what you’re doing.  You do some silly things.  I took those two lobsters with my gloves on and chased her cat called Pinkerton around the house.  Pinkerton was a big fat white cat.  He was probably 14 years old and weighed about 40 pounds. Pinkerton ran of course.  It wasn’t a very nice thing to do.  You do some silly things when you are in love.  You just can’t wait to be in each other’s presence. It’s like eating a delightful meal together. [Children, draw a picture of a table of food]

How does Jesus respond after the disciples ran out on Him?  Does He return in anger to set the record straight?  Does He yell and ask them, “How come you guys ran out on Me?”  Or, “Why didn’t you guys stick with your word; you said you would stand with me!”  Jesus does not do anything like that.  Instead Jesus seeks to restore the relationships.

36 Now as they said these things, Jesus Himself stood in the midst of them, and said to them, “Peace to you.” (Luke 24:36)

Jesus appeared and said, “Peace.” They needed to hear that, because they all ran from Him at His worst moment.  They leave Him to be crucified, He comes back, so what or how is He going to react?  He responded with the mercy of God and said, “Peace.”

                 37 But they were terrified and frightened, and supposed they had seen a spirit.
            38 And He said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts?
 39“Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have.” (Luke 24:37-39)

They were “scared out of their wits” just like they were Matthew 14 when they saw Jesus walking on the water and thought He was a ghost. Jesus sought to help them regain control of their emotions and asked, “Why are you troubled?” He wanted them to reflect and asked, “Is God not in control?”  When you believe God is in control, you can enjoy the presence of people. Jesus verifies to them, it’s Him and they have no need to fear.

                      40 When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His feet1.
               41 But while they still did not believe for joy, and marveled, He said to them, “Have you any 
                food here?”
              42 So they gave Him a piece of a broiled fish and some honeycomb1.
 43 And He took it and ate in their presence. (Luke 24:40-43)

Jesus gave them proof He was not a ghost; He’s back in person. He ate in their presence to prove to them He was the real thing. Can you imagine the fear turning to joy? Can you imagine the joy as they realized they had encountered the real Jesus again? That gives rise to the reality that Jesus was empowered by the Father’s promise of His will and plan, so Jesus passes that down to the disciples.  

3)      When you are empowered by the Father’s promise, you can’t help but lead   Luke 24:44-49

                  44 Then He said to them, “These are the words which I spoke to you while I was still with you,
              that all things must be fulfilled which were written in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and
              the Psalms concerning Me.”
 45 And He opened their understanding, that they might comprehend the Scriptures. (Luke 24:44-45)

Jesus helped the disciples see there was nothing new.  “I’ve spoken this before.”  He made sure they understood what was written.  [Children, draw a soldier leading troops in a charge]

46 Then He said to them, “Thus it is written, and thus it was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise1 from the dead the third day,
47 “and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
 48 “And you are witnesses of these things. (Luke 24:46-48)

            There are seven points Jesus made to the disciples.  First, what happened was written already in Scripture.  Secondly, it was necessary to happen according to the Father’s plan. Thirdly, it was necessary that the Christ suffer for the sins of the world.  There would have been no reconciliation to God without the death of Jesus Christ.  Fourthly, it was necessary for Christ to rise from the dead on the third day to prove the Father’s righteousness was satisfied with the death of Jesus.  Fifthly it was necessary that the message of repentance and remission of sins be preached in His name to all the nations. Sixthly, it is necessary that every Christian be witnesses of that eternal truth.  That witness is revived with every moment spent with Jesus Christ, with every encounter with Jesus. Why?  So the seventh truth would be made known in verse 49.

49 “Behold, I send the Promise of My Father upon you; but tarry in the city of Jerusalem1 until you are endued with power from on high.” (Luke 24:49)

            The seventh truth is that the Father’s promise would be empowerment to make that message known to the nations. The Promise of the Father – the empowerment is coming.  You will be endued with power, or “clothed” with power.  So stay in the city until you are clothed.  It all comes together by the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is not a force, like on Star Wars.  He is a person, who will guide you into Scriptures and empower you to lead your family.  It is the promise of the Father.  The promise of the Father directs our attention to the importance of fathers.  Father’s represent God the Father.  Their influence has great affect or lack of influence leaves of vacuum of spirituality in the world as we are seeing in the United States today.

            Two important passages reveal the importance of the Father influence in Scripture.

Then Crispus, the ruler of the synagogue, believed on the Lord with all his household. And many of the Corinthians, hearing, believed and were baptized. (Acts 18:8)  

                  31 So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your
              household.”  32Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his
             house.  33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And
             immediately he and all his family were baptized. 34 Now when he had brought them into his
             house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his
             household. (Acts 16:31-34)
            Yes, the influence of fathers is incredible. God the Father worked it that way as a way to show how much influence He has when people follow and submit to His will.

 

The Power of Influence

Attending Church First Families Follow

100 Children 1.7%
100 Mothers 18%
100 Fathers 93% 

However, when fathers don’t lead and families don’t follow, then we have a vacuum of influence.  In fact, children and whole families begin to fall away from the Lord.  For example, 

For every 10 men in the average church…

• 9 will have kids who leave the church
• 8 will not find their jobs satisfying
• 6 will pay monthly minimum on credit cards
• 5 have a major problem with pornography
• 4 will get divorced affecting 1,000,000 children each year
• Only 1 will have a biblical worldview
• All 10 will struggle to balance family & work:

Because they really want to HAVE FUN!

Listen, fathers represent God the Father and when we don’t lead as the Father, provide as the Father, teach as the Father, lead as the Father, then family falls away.  Now, ladies, what is your part?  I love it when women get into Bible Study.  I love it.  But some of you don’t understand why men don’t lead.  I’ll tell you. 
Men (and woman) are in a spiritual war that is unseen and the enemy is fighting against men saying, “You can’t lead.”  “You’re not spiritual enough.”  “You don’t know enough.”  “You’re not good enough to lead.”  So men believe those lies and do exactly what Adam did back in the Garden of Eden.  Adam was standing right next to Eve, while she was talking to the jive-talking serpent.  He should have been protecting her, but because he didn’t she bought the devil’s line and was deceived.  Then Adam bought into it also and ate the fruit.
Today men lay back spiritually and  don’t take the risk of leading their families.  Why?  Men do not want to fail; they do not want to look like a fool; and they don’t want someone to find out they are a fake spiritually, that is they don’t want others to know they don’t know as much spiritually as they want others to think.  So, they hedge back. 
Women? We need you to pray for men.  If it was easy being a man, there would be men leading their families in Bible devotions regularly during the week.  Fathers would make sure their kids were memorizing Scripture.  Fathers would make sure their kids were the most grounded in Scripture so when they went into the world, they knew what promises they could count on.  Why does that not happen?  Because there is an invisible war going on. The enemy, the devil is winning. 
Today is all about the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  God wins.  Everyone who trusts in Jesus Christ wins.  And we want to help people get beyond that and be discipled to understand God’s game plan.  That’s what this church is all about.  We want to help fathers understand and know the battle, so they can win their families, keep their families, enjoy their families and when the children grow up, the children will keep coming home for wisdom to go back into the world to disciple others to Jesus Christ.
We believe fathers or men leading are the key to solid growth in a church.  We’re grateful for women, youth and children.  It’s the fathers that must take their place and take the promise of the Father and pass that down to the children.  It is the plan the original settlers had when they came to America,
“Promising also unto our best ability to teach our children and servants the knowledge of God and of his will that they may serve him also.” – First settlers of Salem (1636)

It’s not the government’s job to teach our children.  Sometimes it does a pretty good job, but the parents are really the best ones as God designed it.  Why?  God designed the parents to be the teachers of their children.  We at Grace want to help you. I love what Jonathan Edwards says,

“Family education and order are some of the chief means of grace, if these fail in the home all other means are likely to prove ineffectual.” – Jonathan Edwards

In other words, we can have the best school system or even church program, but if the families’ are not raising up their children to godliness, even what we do in the church to train children, will not be as helpful.  We are here only to help parents.  Richard Baxter makes it very clear who must step up to the line and take responsibility,

“The husband must be the principal teacher of the family, he must instruct them, examine them, and rule them about manners of God.” – Richard Baxter

I praise God for moms that step up and lead their children.  I pray that we can help dads take on that privilege of making sure the kids know and understand who Jesus Christ is and why He came.   Get a grip on the Father’s promise, and you can’t help but lead.

The Promise of your Father will empower you to

Get a Grip on real life!

·         God has called every man to serve as a model of the Father John 14:9

·         We men need to step up to the line and practice until we get it Phil 4:9

·         God will supply you what you need Phil. 4:19

·         We can do all things through Christ Phil. 4:13

·         Come join the team at Grace

 

·         Get a grip on the Father’s will

·         Get a grip on Father greatness

·         Get a grip on your Father’s promise to the next two generations

 

Message Based Discussion Questions

1)      Do you remember a promise your father gave you growing up fulfilled?

Digging Deeper:

2)      Who are three heroes of faith in Hebrews 11? __________; ____________; _____________ What are examples of what they were trusting God for in the present and future life?  How many didn’t see the promise fulfilled in life?  Did that cause them to waiver in faith?

3)      Look up the following passages related to the Father promises about the coming Messiah (Gen. 3:15; Gal. 4:4; Is. 7:14; Matt 1:18,24,25; Ps. 2:7; Matt 3:17; Gen. 22:18; Gal. 3:16. How many of the passages prophesy of the coming Messiah? ___________ How were those prophecies fulfilled?  What does that say about the promise of the Father?  What promises has He made to/for you?

4)      Compare Eph. 5:18 with Col. 3:16 and their contexts.  What is similar about each passage? ______________.  What is different? _______________.  Note Rom. 15:13-14.  What are the three ingredients of growth? (cf. Rom. 15:4)  Why is your utter dependence on these three aspects crucial to enjoying God’s presence?

Making application of the message to life:

5)      How have you experienced Jesus this week? Have you shared that with anyone? If not, what will you do?

6)      How would you describe enjoying Jesus’ presence to a sixth grader?  What are several ways a believer can enjoy His presence?

7)      The Father’s Promise is real.  Is it causing you to lead others in faith?  How could you initiate trust and application so it becomes a reality?

 

 

Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 3)

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Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 3)

This concludes the three part examination on Spiritual Disciplines as practices every Christian should do in order to grow closer in his relationship to Jesus Christ. They are exercises designed to orient a believer to focus on the Lord Jesus Christ.  They, by themselves, do not cause a person to become more spiritual.  They, by themselves, do not cause God to be obligated to the believer with favor.  They, by themselves, do not propel the believer to spiritual maturity. The disciplines can be functions that an unbeliever can perform and therefore, by themselves, do not produce any merit before God. They would not be categorized by the word “spiritual” in that case. However, practicing spiritual disciplines can help the believer focus on the Word of God, so that in the power of the Holy Spirit, the believer is set apart by faith in mind, speech and action to become more godly.  Spiritual disciplines can increase a believer’s pursuit of or commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the previous articles, the Spiritual Disciplines of Bible Reading, Bible Study, Scripture Meditation, Scripture Memorization and Prayer were first examined.  Secondly, the Spiritual Disciplines of Worship, Fellowship, Service, Frugality and Fasting were discussed. 

These first ten spiritual disciplines are fairly easy to understand, but the last five become more difficult to understand and practice.  If Christians don’t see or understand tangible increases of knowledge, it’s easy for Christians to get discouraged with practical Spiritual Disciplines as bearing much fruit.  However, just the opposite is true. It’s like spending time with a friend.  Usually spending more time increases the love between two friends and the same is true with these last five.

Solitude: This is spending time alone with God to know and understand Him, while avoiding contacts other people. It is withdrawing from the world to seek the Lord alone.  This is completed by silence and is very difficult to practice, because it is hard to measure.  How do you know how well you’ve done, or if you’ve done enough, or if you want to do it again?  There is nothing material to measure.  But there is something to measure and that is the joy (settled assurance that God is in control) of a growing relationship with the Lord and knowing that when you encounter Jesus, you can’t help but enjoy His presence. Solitude is critical for those in ministry, because the ministry drain is so difficult to measure and it creeps up on servants of the Lord, like Elijah (1 Kings 19).  Solitude is one of the best ways to refresh the spirit and restore freshness for ministry. Solitude can make you feel naked or like you are in a vacuum, yet that is when God may expose true things about you and His mercy will tenderly lead you through any valley and onto a mountain top of fresh air (Ps. 23:2-4).  Solitude often helps God become more real than other spiritual disciplines. Jesus went to a solitary place to be alone with God the Father in prayer (Mark 1:35).

Silence: This is refraining from speaking or even singing to quiet your mind and soul in God’s presence. Silence includes both not speaking and singing, but also shutting down outside noises in order to concentrate (Ps. 46:10). This spiritual discipline goes along with solitude, but can be practiced at other times like when having fellowship listening to a friend in need.  Often in silence, sorrow can rise up, because of the Holy Spirit’s convicting work (Ps. 39:2).  Silence is certainly what happens to a Christian who is enjoying the awesome presence of the Lord (Mark 4:39). Silence is sadly a lost commodity, because of all the white noise of television, radio, cell phones and electronic games.  Silence helps a Christian go deeper in seeking after the infinity of God. Silence is the best way to listen to the “still silent [small] voice” of God (1 Kings 19:12) speaking through Scripture to understand conviction and God’s purposes.

Submission: This is the action of humility before the awesome sovereign presence of God (1 Pet. 5:6).  It is practiced in not asserting self before the authority, power and wisdom of Jesus Christ (Eph. 1:19-21).  It is visibly seen in submission to a person as you would unto Jesus Christ, like a wife to a husband or employee to an employer.  It is coming under the authority of one as a visible manifestation of submission to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a form of abstinence, because it denies self the power and privileges it would want to express or enjoy. Jesus submitted to the Father’s will from His opening mission statement (Luke 4:17-19).  Paul recorded that Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on the cross (Phil. 2:7-8).  Jesus acknowledged that He did nothing on His own, but only what He saw the Father doing (John 5:30; 6:38; 12:50). Jesus, as the King of kings and Lord of lords, even submitted to people (Luke 2:51). Submission is practiced by not forcing an agenda, but trusting God to work His will through people.  It is welcoming criticism from others as opportunity for learning and to bless those who curse (2 Pet. 3:8-10).  Submission will allow others to make decisions that you would want to make.

Reflection: This is paying attention to your inner self in thoughts and feelings in order to understand how to grow more closely with God and others (Pro. 27:19).  It is not for the purpose of loving self more, but examining self to consider what hinders your relationship with God and others. It is always using Scripture as the mirror rather than a physical mirror (Jam. 1:22-25).  Reflection is the chewing of biblical truth to extract principles and application in order to determine application and implementation of truth to life.  Reflection requires slowing down in life in order to examine areas of life that are always in motion or often not considered, but may encumber relationships.  Solitude and Silence often go with Reflection, however they are not required.

Sabbath Rest: This is resting in the Lord rather than working to fix things in life. In the Old Testament it was one of the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20: 8). In the New Testament it refers to a moment by moment rest in the Lord (Heb. 4:1-11).  It is not working in your flesh, but your flesh may be diligent about what it is doing.  It is allowing the Holy Spirit to work through you to accomplish God’s will and leaving the results up to God.  It is not a particular day as much as a particular way of trusting God with what is done and pursuing that rest by trusting what God will do through you.  Thereby, you are refreshed, because you know that God has been working through you.

This concludes this examination of Spiritual Disciplines.  There are excellent books written on the subject.  The key is practicing these by faith in the power of the Holy Spirit according to God’s Word, so that God is glorified and you grow in a deeper and more intimate relationship with Him.  These principles of spiritual disciplines can all be applied to marriage in similar ways to grow more closely with your spouse.

Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 2)

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Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 2)

Spiritual Disciplines are practices every Christian should do in order to grow closer in relationship to Jesus Christ. They are exercises designed to orient a believer to focus on the Lord Jesus Christ.  They, by themselves, do not cause a person to become more spiritual.  They, by themselves, do not cause God to be obligated to the believer with favor.  They, by themselves, do not propel the believer to spiritual maturity. The disciplines can be functions that an unbeliever can perform and therefore, by themselves, do not produce any merit before God. They would not be categorized by the word “spiritual” in that case. However, practicing spiritual disciplines can help the believer focus on the Word of God, so that in the power of the Holy Spirit, the believer is set apart by faith in mind, speech and action to become more godly.  Spiritual disciplines can increase a believer’s pursuit of or commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.

 In the previous article, the Spiritual Disciplines of Bible Reading, Bible Study, Scripture Meditation, Scripture Memorization and Prayer were examined.  In this article, active Spiritual Disciplines of Worship, Fellowship, Service, Frugality and Fasting will be discussed.  These Disciplines are still fairly easy to understand, but become more difficult to practice.

Worship: This is the practice of praise and adoration before the God of the universe, the One who spoke the word and the universe into existence.  It is the active thought and action process whereby our entire being gives “worthship” or value to who and what God is.  Because He is, God is worthy to be worshiped.  He seeks those who worship Him (John 4:23) and He commands that we worship in Spirit and in Truth from our inner being with all that we have (John 4:24; Matt. 22:27-29). Worship can be done individually in any location through meditation, song, enjoyment of creation, writing a prayer of praise, work, loving others, creating what magnifies His name and in all obedience according to His Word by means of His Spirit.  God commands that we assemble weekly to worship Him in a local gathering of saints to exalt His name and edify the saints. We are to spur them to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24-25).

Fellowship: This is the practice of sharing things in common with other saints, commonly called koinonia.  It is two or more saints sharing life together, because of their common bond in Jesus Christ (Gal. 2:9). True fellowship is with the Father and with the Son (1 John 1:3). It is the Holy Spirit that creates and solidifies that bond (Phil. 2:1). Fellowship is not playing cards, although believers can have fellowship and enjoy games together.  Fellowship is not talking about a sporting game, although believers can fellowship together while enjoying a game together, when Jesus is the focus of building bridges to others (Phil. 1:5).  Fellowship is not eating a meal together, but believers can fellowship over a meal, when Jesus is the focus. Fellowship occurs because believers walk in the purity of the Light (1 John 1:7). Believers do not have fellowship with unbelievers (Eph. 5:11).  That is called evangelism.  We see good fellowship in the early church as believers came together to share their lives and resources to help each other grow in the body of Christ (Acts 2:42-47).

Service: This is Christian action to honor God by the overflow of His love and compassion toward others.  We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).  It begins by presenting yourself first to God as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1).  It will be humble actions of prayer support for people to the mundane care of financial concerns (2 Cor. 9:12). It may include a cup of cold water to a prisoner or prophet, and it may be preparing a meal, cleaning a home, giving a ride or watching a single mom’s children (1 Kings 17:10; Matt. 10:42; Mark 9:41). It can include work done in a God-honoring way that honors the Lord (Eph. 6:7), which will also include help to widows and orphans in need (Jam. 1:27).  All service must be done in faith in total dependence and reliance upon the Holy Spirit (Phil. 2:17). 

Frugality: This is the lifestyle of simplicity and abstaining from using money or goods to gratify personal desires or status.  It is a life devoted simply to Jesus, rather than fragmented on distractions in the world (2 Cor. 11:3).  It is simple trust in God’s provision rather than the wisdom of man (2 Cor. 1:12).  It is enjoying the presence of others in the gladness of the Lord rather than the pursuit of opulence and luxury of life (Acts 2:46). It recognizes the things of this world can easily become distractions and sin (1 John 2:15-16).  It is not avoiding the things of the world, but using the things of the world for the gospel and God’s purposes (1 Tim. 6:6-8, 17-19).  Frugality is wisely using all resources and assets, including money to further Kingdom purposes rather than spending the resources for selfish purposes.  It is not being a foolish miser, but a faithful steward (Luke 16:1-10).

Fasting: This is the denial of some resource for the purpose of prayer and/or Bible study; food is the most common fasting tool.  It may be a complete denial, or partial denial, in order to focus attention on the Lord’s will and purposes. Jesus said, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.” (John 4:34)  A key passage to understand fasting is Matthew 6:16-18,

16 “Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.

 17 “But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,

 18 “so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matt. 6:16-18)

Understood in this context, fasting is really feasting – feasting on the presence of God the Father.  Fasting is not for health purposes, but for prayer or relationship with God.  Those who fast should always ensure they drink fluids, so the mind can be alert.  Those with medical conditions should consult with a doctor, before beginning.  The fasting will often reveal inner sin patterns and immaturity, just as physically your body goes through hunger, fatigue, possible headaches and even frustration.  It may reveal that food has become an idol and loved more than Jesus.  Start with small steps rather than a 40 day fast.

These are the second five Spiritual Disciplines.  The last five Spiritual Disciplines to be discussed will be given tomorrow.  They are: Solitude; Submission; Silence; Reflection; and Sabbath Rest.  As these will be posted on Resurrection Sunday, a day of great joy, these will hopefully be anticipated with the joy of how they will draw the willing saint into a closer relationship with Jesus Christ.

Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 1)

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Words: Spiritual Disciplines (Part 1)

Spiritual Disciplines are exercises designed to orient a believer to focus on the Lord Jesus Christ.  They, by themselves, do not cause a person to become more spiritual.  They, by themselves, do not cause God to be obligated to the believer with favor.  They, by themselves, do not propel the believer to spiritual maturity. The disciplines can be functions that an unbeliever can perform and therefore, by themselves, do not produce any merit before God. They would not be categorized by the word “spiritual” in that case. However, practicing spiritual disciplines can help the believer focus on the Word of God, so that in the power of the Holy Spirit, the believer is set apart by faith  in mind, speech and action to become more godly.  Spiritual disciplines can increase a believer’s pursuit of or commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.

            There are many lists of spiritual disciplines and several authors have written books regarding spiritual disciplines.  Some authors become almost mystical, but most are very practical.  Here is a list of spiritual disciplines that every believer should consider pursuing and putting into practice for their daily walk.  Again, in and of themselves, spiritual disciplines do not produce merit before God, but when done in faith by the power of the Holy Spirit seeking to know our God of Scripture, they are very helpful.

Active Disciplines

Bible Reading: This is probably the most widely known and easiest to do, because you have Scripture to read and focus your attention in order to connect with God.  Scripture is a treasure like none other. Scripture makes a man wise for salvation and life (2 Tim. 3:15-17).  Proverbs tells us wisdom bears far greater fruit than silver or gold (Pro. 3:14; 8: 19).  Jesus confronted temptations quoting Scripture (Luke 4:1-11).  It is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword (Heb. 4:12).  The humanity of Jesus grew learning Scripture (Luke 2:52) and used it to press forward to accomplish God’s will (Luke 22:42).

Bible reading should be done daily, because it is more valuable than food (Matt. 4:4).  When you open Scriptures, tell God, “Your servant is listening” (1 Sam. 3:9-10).  Read Scripture to learn, to grow and to become stable.

Bible Study: This is a much more focused time of analysis, comparison of Scripture with Scripture and acquiring the context of what is written. Bible study is learning the thread through all of Scripture and learning the flow from the books of Genesis to Revelation.  It’s learning how the books of the Old and New Testament are organized.  It’s taking the time to learn, so that you will be ready to teach others also (Matt. 28:20).  Bible study ensures that the text is not taken out of context, so that it becomes a pretext for what you want.  Bible study ensures you study what God has to say rather than man (Is. 55:8-9).

Scripture Meditation: This is thinking deeply about a particular passage of Scripture that you may be studying.  It is interacting with the text and allowing God the Holy Spirit to examine your life, your feelings and your prayers for the purpose of teaching, reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16).  It is through meditation that a person slows down enough to hear how the Holy Spirit is leading with conviction and life change. It is a drawing near with the heart in order to know the Lord Jesus Christ, not know about Him, but know Him.  Meditation should be on Scripture as the focus of our attention all day long (Ps. 119:97).  It is the means by which a believer can bypass his teachers in wisdom (Ps. 119:99).  Meditation is sweet to the Lord, because it declares how we are spending our time—our most valuable resource (Ps. 104:34).

Scripture Memorization: This is a commitment of Scripture to memory, especially whole sections, chapters or books of Scripture.  The Psalmist writes, “Your Word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You!” (Ps. 119:11)  There are many ways to memorize Scripture.  Going over and over the text is similar to the way Ezra studied Scripture (Ezra 7:10).  Meditating on passages can set Scripture to memory through associations of concepts.  The time of memorizing is a great tool for the Holy Spirit to set our lives apart to Jesus Christ.  Memorizing passages can give great hope in crises.  For example, memorize James 3:1-12 to learn control of the tongue, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to learn the spectrum of love and what constitutes sin when not practiced, Ephesians 1 to gain an understanding of God’s eternal plan and His sovereign control of history, Phil. 4:6-9 to fight against worry and gain a foothold so the peace of God reigns in your life, or Psalm 23 as a passage of comfort and hope in trouble, or Philippians 3:7-14 for a passage on motivation to pursue Jesus Christ, or Psalm 1 for a great passage teaching children what to delight in and what to avoid, or 1 John 1 for a passage on walking in the light with God.

Prayer: This is talking with God about what we are experiencing and doing together in life.  Prayer is the vertical relationship in life.  It is the trust and dependence on the God of the Universe.  It is not as easy as some people say, because it is often developed as other spiritual disciplines are learned. Jesus often went out to pray alone (Mark 1:35; Luke 6:12; 9:18; 11:1). He has a praying life rather than a prayer life. There are great prayers in Scripture like morning prayers of Psalm 3 & 4 and the evening prayer of Psalm 5. The Lord’s Prayer is found in John 17.  Paul’s greatest prayer is Ephesians 3:14-21. 

Prayer often can follow the ACTS or the CAST pattern, where the respective letters stand for Adoration; Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.  The CAST acrostic is given for those who insist that confession should be done first.   Prayers using Scripture are very wise, because that keeps you focused on God’s desires. Prayer partners often support and hold accountable prayer requests and can rejoice at answered prayers. Prayer walks are helpful to gain focus and allow the beauty of creation or a circumference boundary to receive the indirect artillery of prayer.

            These are merely the first five spiritual disciplines.  Succeeding descriptions will follow regarding the spiritual disciplines of:

Solitude; Submission; Silence; Fasting; Service; Worship; Fellowship; Reflection; Sabbath Rest; and Frugality.

Q & A: Get A Grip on your Father’s Will

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These are suggested answers for the Message Based Discussion Questions included on the reverse side of the insert for the message “Get a Grip on your Father’s Will” presented on March 24, 2013.  The full information from the insert is provided first, then the Message Based Discussion Questions are reiterated with suggested answers.  These answers only provide a beginning basis to answer the questions.  Each person should consider how he might answer the questions. Continue reading →

SGL: A Coach’s commitment to Small Group Leaders (2)

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SGL: A Coach’s commitment to Small Group Leaders

            Coaching leaders is a fulfilling mission.  It’s fulfilling, because they already have proven themselves and they want to lead others.  Now it’s a matter of how to sharpen each other so that ministry can be more effective.  Both the coach and the small group leaders will learn from each other.  They both learn, because of the experience of the coach, but also the new experiences that small group leaders obtain, which  may bring new ideas to coaches.

            A coach must be committed to the small group leaders.  He is not there as a know-it-all or I’m-the-coach-so-listen-to-me type person.  He’s there to hold leaders to 1) the standard of God’s Word, 2) the vision set forth by the Elders and 3) the passion to intentional discipling of Christ-followers.  There are five contrasts that should be kept in mind when coaching small group leaders.

            First, maintain encouragement over teaching.  Small group leaders have already proven themselves steady in spiritual disciplines and grasping hold of the vision, so now they need encouragement to keep pressing forward.  Now that they are leaders, they are leading others who may be complacent (Is. 32:9-11), may bite and devour (Gal. 5:15) and may get distracted by the things of the world (1 Jn. 2:15-17).  That can be very discouraging when you prepare to lead a group and people don’t respond.  The leader may face “controlling talkers,” or “rebellious nit-pickers,” or those who just don’t want to get out of their comfort zones.

            Small group leaders may need to be taught some principles of leading, but they need encouragement far more.  They need to be nurtured along the way far more than understanding every list of what small group leaders should do.  Yes, seasoned Christians need to be encouraged, because the battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the unseen spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12) and discouragement is likely Satan’s greatest tool.

            Secondly, lead by shepherding rather than directing.  A shepherd takes the sheep (in this case, the small group leader) to lush green grass of nourishment, the still waters of refreshment and the calming fields of resting in the Lord.  They are in a battle every day from spiritual forces trying to convince them their effort is not worth it.  The demonic realm deceives and manipulates to get leaders to think that they will never be able to influence people well enough to make a difference. 

Small group leaders don’t need to be told what to do as much as they need someone to care for them and listen to them.  They already care themselves to lead others.  They already have been in the trenches.  They may need some focus, or at times a jolt, but normally they need someone to bandage up their wounds of leading people.  They need someone to lead them.

Thirdly, emphasize connecting over influence.  There is no question that we are all about influencing people and making an impact, but when coaching small group leaders, you want to make sure they feel connected and not feel like a long ranger serving all by themselves, wondering when the next resupply will come in.  Small group leaders are  already working on connecting people, but in the process of leading, he becomes a target from the front and from behind and he wonders if he is alone.  Make sure you connect with him rather than driving him all the time just to make sure he’s on the top of his influence.  Let him rest in your presence and shepherd him by your encouragement.

Fourthly, listen for understanding rather than talking by managing.  He spends most of his time listening to other people; listening to understand.  He listens to understand, so that when he speaks, others will listen and he will have pithy comments full of Scripture and wisdom.  That takes an incredible amount of energy and he needs someone to listen to understand him, rather than someone telling him how he can be a better manager of resources (people).

And fifthly, ensure you are leading rather than pressing him forward.  He should feel like he is in the presence of Jesus.  He should feel like you are leading him, rather than driving him.  The small group leader should feel like you are a shepherd, rather than a butcher.  You make sure he knows you enjoyed the time with him, because the ones he is leading may not realize all the mental and emotional energy he is expending for them.  So you lead him to the still waters and green pastures of rest in God’s Word.  What has God been doing for you to calm your soul?  Affirm him in all that he is doing.  Make sure he knows you are there for him, not the other way around.

Coaching is a blessed privilege.  You’re not teaching volumes of material; you’re tweaking what he knows so he can be more effective.  God used Priscilla and Aquila to come alongside Apollos to be a better spokesman for Christ (Acts 18: 24-28).  Your coaching will enable him to rest more on the empowering ministry of the Holy Spirit to lead others in grace.

 

 

SGL: Coaching Small Group Leaders (1)

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SGL: Coaching Small Group Leaders (1)

            There was a “thrill of victory and agony of defeat” when I used to watch the Wide World of Sports as a kid.  The same could be said of discipleship.  There is a thrill to see men pick up the ball in discipleship and carry it in discipling others.  There is also the agony of watching promising and potential great leaders turn to distractions of the world.  Between these two extremes is where most of the process of discipleship is.  Here are some clues on coaching Small Group Leaders or helping men become equipped to lead home groups on their own.

            First, give clear instructions on what you want them to do.  The old saying is, “If there is a fog in the pulpit, there will be mist in the pew.”  Discipling requires clarity so both parties understand.  The reality is, full clarity is a process, but the attempt must be made.

            Secondly, encourage everything he does well. Having gone through boot camp in the Army, they taught us, it takes 1000 “attaboys” to overcome one “awedarnit” (or what they really called it).  Affirmation is extremely important to encourage leaders to keep pressing forward.  The enemy is going to be feeding him lie after lie after lie.  Like, “You really blew that leadership opportunity.” Or, “You don’t know enough to lead a group of people.”  Or, “Why don’t you just stay home, you’re not good enough to lead others.”  And a hundred other lies the enemy will bombard upon the one stepping up to the plate.

            Thirdly, encourage how he gives affirmation and feedback to others.  Just as you are modeling it to him, make sure you highlight it whenever he gives encouragement to others.  Affirm what he is doing well, because he’s likely waiting for the shoe to drop and hear criticism. Make sure you grace him out whenever you can.

            Fourthly, make sure he is looking at the other people when he’s leading and answering questions.  Whether you are the coach, or pastor, or elder, make sure his eye contact is not on you, but on the other people.  He is there to encourage others and one great way is to have good eye contact with those that are there, not the authority figure.  It seems that most people look at the authority figure when giving answers and the new facilitator needs to learn right away that HE does not talk or give answers looking at the authority figure.  He IS the authority figure or leader for the group at that time.

            Fifthly, remind him to watch the timing of the session.  That is very hard to do, because the ice breaker could go long, or the sharing is great, or he’s trying to deal with a controlling talker.  When you bring up something like timing of the session, approach it like you see he is trying to watch the time and get his thoughts on how he is trying to manage the overall timing of the gathering.  Help him see that he may have to respond to a longer answer with, “Let’s meet afterwards and talk further,” or “let’s talk about that more after we pray as a group.”  That way, you keep more people involved in the conversation than just a few that like to talk.

            Sixthly, encourage him to say, “Anything else?” at the end of discussion to allow someone else to make a comment.  Some people are hesitant to respond, but a nudge like that can help them come out of their comfort zone and risk giving a response. 

            Coaches need to be encouraging to Small Group Leaders who are trying to learn how to lead.  Sometimes there are small group leaders who want to do their own thing and they need to be confronted.  That will be for a separate article.