Tag Archives: Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure – Part 4

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Most people like to fit in with others.  Peer pressure can easily cause us to walk down the wrong road.  David understood it well, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.”1  David said you will be blessed if you don’t walk in ungodly counsel, or stand thinking about the way the sinful walk or considering their lifestyle, nor sit contemplating or being pressured into listening to the scornful or mockers of God.   Yet, when you look at the society and culture around you, you see this all the time.

There are many temptations in which peer pressure can influence you wrongly.  We saw the drinking scenario in the last segment.  Unfortunately the age at which young people are having sex is becoming younger and younger according to surveys, of which peer pressure is a huge influence.  Peer pressure influences people to any kind of immoral or abhorrent behavior.

You have to decide what you are going to do.  If you give into peer pressure, you’ll become a follower, just like Adam became a follower in the Garden of Eden.  He should have been leading Eve and protecting her from the deception of the serpent, but he was standing idly by and foolishly accepted the fruit and ate it in direct disobedience to the Lord.2  As you consider how you are in dealing with peer pressure, ask yourself these questions and spend some time thinking through the Scriptures:

·         Do I realize how much other people can influence me?   Proverbs 1:10-13

·         Do I realize my decisions are often based on how others influence me?  Proverbs 1:15-19

·         Do I listen to the voice of Scripture? Proverbs 1:20-23

·         Do I know my own strengths and weaknesses? Proverbs 1:24-28

·         Do I love God’s Word more than what friends say, even good friends? Proverbs 1:29-30

·         Do I understand the consequences of my decisions? Proverbs 1:31-33

·         Do I trust myself? Proverbs 5:6

·         Do I know how to say no? Proverbs 5:7-9

·         Do I know how to practice self-control? Proverbs 5:12-14

·         Do I know my own sin patterns? Proverbs 5:20-23

Do you know who you can talk to about peer pressure?  Are your parents open?  Do you have a church leader who is willing to listen in order to understand?  Maybe you need a trusted friend.  While everyone wants to have friends, it’s far better to have a few good friends than attempt to fit in with everyone.  There is ultimately one person you need to please in life and that is the Lord Jesus Christ, “Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.3

When you know who you are in Jesus Christ and are positionally already complete in Him, you’ll stand up to the peer pressure and it will back down from you.4

1Psalm 1:1; 2Genesis 3:1-6; 32 Coriinthians 5:9; 4Colossians 2:9-10

Peer Pressure – Part 3

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So what is it about peer pressure that often makes life difficult?1  Here’s a scenario.  It’s Monday night.  You are tired after work and some of the guys invite you to go over to a restaurant with them.  They know you have a family.  You are new to the job and want to fit in.  So you think, “Well, just this time.”  You call your wife and tell her you’re going to go out with the guys.  After all, you just spent Sunday afternoon with the family. 

At the restaurant, everyone is having drinks before their meal, so you don’t want to be the odd one out and you order something to fit in – peer pressure.  You would never do this in public, but you let down your guard.  The meal is full of laughter and good bantering and this is the most you’ve laughed in a long time. You have only two additional drinks during the meal, but it’s not what you were planning – peer pressure.  You are struggling inside from the guilt of going against your conscience, but you’ve never felt so accepted. They invite you over for Monday Night Football and you’re thinking, “I might as well.  This will help me fit in with the guys at work.”  So, you call your wife and she even encourages you to go at this point. You didn’t tell her the whole story.

The peer pressure continues at Sam’s house, because he has the huge screen television and the beer is flowing – peer pressure.  You’re helping yourself to chips and dip and confine yourself to three more beers – peer pressure.  You’re thinking the food will absorb the alcohol.  You’re thinking, “I would never normally have one drink let alone so many.”

Fortunately, you have a big day at work tomorrow, so you excuse yourself at half time.  On the way home, you drive only slightly erratically.  You haven’t had that much to drink since you were in college and when you decided enough was enough.  It was, however, enough to get the police officer’s attention and a breathalyzer test.  He measured you at .08 blood alcohol content and gave you a ride to the county jail with a DUI.  Life changed overnight.  Why did this happen?  Not only does it go against your spiritual values, but you just weren’t thinking.

Social situations put us in danger unless we are confident and strong on values.  Certain peers, like work friends, can invite you into a world you may not normally enter.  You may sense something is wrong or even make you afraid that something doesn’t feel right.  That’s likely your conscience telling you something IS wrong. Scripture says, “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith, from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk… having faith and a good conscience, which some having rejected, concerning the faith have suffered shipwreck.”2  God gave you a conscience to discern right from wrong.  When you fill your conscience with Scripture, you’ll be able to discern godliness.3  You cannot trust what you see or hear, but you can trust God’s Word.  Ask yourself when you are in a peer pressure situation, “What would God’s Word guide me to do?”

Think about the consequences of your potential decisions.  “Would drinking here bring dishonor to the Lord’s name? Would drinking put me in a situation, like getting a DUI?”  Or, “Will this decision affect my health?”  “Will people whom I care about or care about me, be affected or disappointed by my decision?”  “What will I be thinking tomorrow if I choose this decision today?”  Once the decision is made, the consequences may be out of your hands.  You’ll have to live with the consequences.

When you make your decision against peer pressure, stick with it.  Nancy Reagan, former first lady, had a campaign called, “Just say No.”  It was a good campaign and was acceptable in all realms of sociology and religious networks.  However, it’s not enough.  If you say no to something, make sure you are saying yes to something and make that God’s Word. 

When someone pressures you to try something you question or know you shouldn’t participate in, try these responses.  Tell them, “No, thanks,” or “I’d rather not,” or “I’m not interested.”  If  the peer pressure continues, let them know you don’t appreciate the extra questions or just walk away.  It’s far better for you to walk away, or even run, because eventually the flesh on its own will give into the pressure.  Paul said it well, “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”4  I love the last part of the verse, “Pursue…with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”  Friends can pull you away from the Lord, or friends can strengthen your stand with the Lord.  Who are your friends?

The next segment will consider several other situations with which peer pressure can be difficult.

1I’m taking peer pressure in a negative way.  There is positive peer pressure, but for this article it is negative; 21 Timothy 1:5-6, 19; 3Hebrews 5:12-14; 42Timothy 2:22

Peer Pressure – Part 2

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This continues the initial discussion on peer pressure and the over arching mandate to consider who you are in Christ.

How do you deal with peer pressure?  Many people just ignore what other people say.  They are wired to shrug it off.  It’s like water off a ducks back.  But sometimes the pressure to conform is hard to discern and a tough challenge to know when to say, “No.”  Let’s consider four action steps for dealing with peer pressure.

The firstaction step you can take is “know your values” or “know what you believe.”  That might seem like a big concept, but it really comes down to the principles by which you live.  What is important to you?  What are the things you believe in?  They might be honesty, integrity, purity and getting along.  Getting along is a good team concept.  It helps people function well in a family or on a team. Yet getting along can influence you to go along with peer pressure if you are not careful.  What do you believe about what you will not compromise? 

Values can even be costly.  Scripture records, “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.1Sometimes it means you’ll have to take a stand or that you will lose out on an opportunity. You can never lose from God’s perspective if you choose for purity, for example. You may take a stand for purity and that means foolish people will make fun of you for being prudish or a goody-two-shoes.  Take the stand.  You’ll be the one who smiles twenty years from now when others are suffering for their foolish decisions.  Because you chose purity, you will always have the confidence knowing that you won’t have regrets.

The second action step you can take is to set realistic goals.  When you have goals or direction, you’ll be less influenced to follow the crowds.  Scripture records, “See then that you walk circumspectly (carefully), not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.2  Some people have no goals.  As the saying goes, they who fail to plan, plan to fail.  But the one who searches the Scriptures will be like the ant who works through the summer and will have provisions for the winter.3  Don’t become a workaholic.  God never intended us to work all day and night.4  Set realistic goals.  You may not be able to accomplish as much in one year, but you’ll see that in five years time, you’ll have accomplished far more.

The third action step is enjoy God’s creation around you.5  When you enjoy God’s creation, you’ll be less apt to be influenced by what the crowds think is something you need. Get rest; take time for a walk, do some reading and choose friends wisely.  Trust God in all your decisions by studying Scripture and depending on His Holy Spirit.  Life is short, so take time to cultivate what you know about God’s creation.

The fourth action step is seek after God’s purposes.  Scripture says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”6  When you seek God’s purposes, you’ll be less influenced by peers to their desires.  When you develop eternal interests, you’ll be less concerned about temporal desires like get rich quick schemes, desires to satisfy the flesh, gluttonous desires for foods beyond what exercise and work does not consume, desires for relationships that corrupt, or other earthly pursuits.

Preemptively overcome peer pressure by stepping out by faith in the actions steps and you’ll put on the armor of God to stand firm for godly principles.7 

The next segment will look at a specific situation of peer pressure and how to deal with it.

11John 3:3; 2Ephesians 5:15-17; 3Proverbs 6:6-9; 4Psalm 127:2; 5Psalm 19:1-6; 6Matthew 6:33; 7Ephesians 6:10-18

Peer Pressure

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Everyone over the age of five faces some kind of peer pressure.  It’s subtle.  Most people handle it well, because they don’t let it bother them, but many are moved along by the crowd like the bulls running down the streets of Pamplona, Spain.  It is what motivates many to buy certain kinds of cars, wear certain styles of clothes and even get caught in foolish activities, like sniffing.  Peer pressure.  Usually it’s when people around your own age try to influence your thinking. 

Sometimes peer pressure can be positive.  Peers can encourage you to participate in sports or band or even study hard for honor grades.  Peers can also exhort you to keep up some level of fitness.  These are obviously good forms of peer pressure or better termed exhortations.

Sometimes peer pressure can be negative.  This pressure comes from peers influencing you to use alcohol, drugs, skip school, have sex, vandalize property, make fun of people or bully other kids.  During youthfulness and even into adulthood, you have so many influences away from God’s holy standard and toward the common drudgery of the world. 

How do you make your own decisions?  How do you say no to negative peer pressure?  How do you deal with it in tough situations?

The key to peer pressure is to know who you are.  If you are a Christian, here’s your verse, “For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.  (Colossians 2:9-10)  If you know Jesus Christ, then you are complete in Him and the peer pressure of life does not have to influence you in a negative way.

When you realize you are complete in Jesus Christ, you will have confidence in Jesus rather than yourself.  You’ll be able to accept your strengths and weaknesses, because you know that God is working in your life to lead you to maturity.1 You’ll have greater respect for others, because you submit yourself to Christ’s authority.2 You’ll begin to trust yourself, because you are trusting what God is doing in and through you to accomplish His will.3  You’ll make your decisions with discernment, because you know God’s Word.4

If you continue in the world’s path, you’ll miss out on the freedom Jesus Christ wants for you.5 Depending on yourself, rather than the Lord, results in a lack of self-confidence, dislike of yourself, not trusting your decisions and unwillingness to accept who you were made by God.  Ultimately what happens is other people influence you and make your decisions for you.  You end up going down a wide road called a slippery slope, because it’s easy and so many are traveling down the same dumb road. Why?  Because what peers think is more important to you than what God thinks. 

The next segment will address some practical ways of dealing with peer pressure.

1Philippians 1:6; 21Peter 5:5-6; 3Ephesians 5:15-17; 4Hebrews 5:12-14; 5Galatians 5:1